(I figured since my last post, I would offer up my own story on the subject.)

A few years back, I was at a bookstore when a particular cover, featuring a very colorful cartoon graphic caught my eye. Picking up the book to examine it a little more carefully, it dealt with getting over former relationships. I then noticed that the author shared the same name as a former girlfriend I dated in college. I started to laugh, thinking how small of a world it is that we live in, when I looked at the back of the book. All of a sudden, the world got a lot smaller.

There was a picture of my first girlfriend, the first woman that I ever fell in love with. Now we dated for less than a year, total, but typically as first real relationships go, it was a pretty intense one. Now, I am not a big enough egomaniac to think that this book, after not seeing this person for over 10 years, would be about me. Having said this, I, of course, had to buy the book. I mean, as a well-respected blogger, it is my duty to keep my readers in the know, in regards to the literary world.

This book will be reviewed in two ways. The first review is a personally unbiased point of view of the text.

Review No. 1

The book is a very funny expose of the dating world. Between the author's experiences and the stories that she has gathered from others, the book shows how difficult it is to try to have a relationship with men. Although, there is plenty of guy-bashing in the book, men will find plenty of humor and inside information of what it is like for women to deal with the male specie. Some men might even recognize parts of themselves in the book. I can definitely say I fit this category.
Overall Grade: A-

The Review No. 2

Now comes the review, which contains more insight on the book than the average reviewer could do. In the book, the author doesn't use actual names in describing how horrible her past boyfriends were like, but I am guessing that anyone who knows the author, can figure out who is who. Nowhere in the book is a place for these "losers" to tell their side of the story. Well, that is about to change, as here is a much-needed epilogue to her book.

The author will be from now on referred to as "Liza", as I will follow the same method the author did by not defaming anyone in the book, by using his or her actual name. I met Liza during my sophomore year of college at the University of Iowa. I was killing some time and some brain cells, at a local meat market called the College Street Club. Since it was Christmas break, the majority of the students were gone, so the bar wasn't as packed as usual.

Continue reading...

In 1985, just after graduation, I won tickets to see Live Aid in a radio contest. One fake ID check later, my friend and I headed to Philly. The seats were exactly what you'd expect for free - way the hell up in the stratosphere. Even the video screens looked small, it was amazingly hot and humid, but it was still one of the most amazing things ever. I can remember the electricity of the crowd when U2 took the stage and laughing when Madonna made fun of herself.

Like most once-in-a-generation events, Live Aid probably can't be duplicated. Woodstock II and III were unmitigated disasters. Still, I have hope for Live 8. Bono returns to the scene of his ascension, Geldof tries to do the impossible twice, and artists once again turn out for an event they hope will change the world. It's an amazing bit of hubris and one I can't wait to see.

I only wish there'd be another radio contest. I only wish I could be 15 again, if only for that day.

live8

Where have I been? Laughing at the psycho ex-girlfriend letter!

Scott and I are looking for an "intern." We can't offer college credit, unless you're buying your degree from one of those diploma mills. In that case, consider it an elective. We're looking for someone that can handle the technical stuff that we simply can't - links on the sidebar, updating our schedules and media appearances, monitoring news and putting up the occasional posts. Tech ability a must, writing ability a major plus. You know where to send your short request/resume.

iTunes 4.9 includes major support for podcasting. This is a big boon for BPR and you'll see the link very soon on iTunes itself. Here's my question: one of the new tools included is "chapters." TUAW describes it this way: "Chapters, my friends, are what podcasts have been missing since their inception. Apple has released a tool (currently in beta) that allows you to set marks on a MPEG4 AAC file. When iTunes reaches the time you have decided on it will display a certain picture or textual link in the Album Art box of iTunes." My problem is that it only works for AAC files, not MP3. MP3 is more accepted, but AAC is supported by iTunes/iPod, the vast majority of the market. (Then again, Scott has a non-pod ...) Is something like chaptering worth switching the BPR feed to AAC to get it?

More soon.

One of the worst things about the internet age has been the forwarded email from friends. If you are like me, about 90% of them are a waste of my time and some are so worthless, I start to rethink my friendship with the person who sent it to me. Every once in while, though, someone sends me something I really like. The following is an a correspondence between 2 people who used to date, which I think might just be the funniest email anyone has ever sent me. I have changed the names of everyone in it and have deleted the locations, instead just giving generic descriptions in parenthesis. I beg of you to read the whole thing, because if you enjoy it half as much as I did, you will thank me profusely, afterwards.

Dear Gary:

I have had a difficult time, over the past few years, achieving
closure of our relationship. It is time for me to seek this. I
have gone through the appropriate stages of anger, remorse, sadness.
It is now time for me to close this chapter of my life. I am trying
to recapture my life and gain a sense of identity back.

In my professional life I have done this, but my personal life
struggles. For so long I/We were "Kara and Gary", that it is hard
to gain my own identity back. I am not worried about my career; I
will soon succeed even my wildest dreams. I am just stunted by my
personal life.

I am ready to release you from my life. I also on a weekly basis
encounter people who want to tell me about you or have a discussion
about you. I do not want to deal with this anymore. I do have a
proposal on how to handle this.

I am ready to no longer be forced to deal with your presence. As to
how to deal with it, I propose the following:

1. I've heard you have an apartment on the West side. You need to
move out of the West side of (Midwest city), this has always been my
side of town, I own a house here, and do not rent like you. I
grew up here, and always want to live here. I would prefer if you
were to leave (Midwest city) all together, but I know this is more than
I can ask.I do not want to risk running into you at any store.

Continue reading...

It's been a couple of weeks since I've written about the White Sox, but since most of the sports world ignores them, except for the Chicago media and a few White Sox bloggers, I thought it was time for another update. In case you missed it, the Sox sport a .690 winning percentage. Only the Cardinals have a percentage over .600 and they are still 4 games behind the White Sox pace. The second best record in the AL is currently held by the Orioles, who are 7.5 games behind the Sox. Presently, the AL wild card squad would be the Red Sox, who are 8 games behind. In the AL Central, the Twins trail by 9.5 games, with the Indians 11.5 and the Tigers 13 games off the pace. Not too shabby and oh by the way, the main focus of the media, the Yankees are 12.5 games worse.

So it's time for me to make my apology to the White Sox organization, as I predicted they would only finish a close second to the Twins and placed them as only the 8th best team in my MLB power rankings. I was a big fan of Kenny Williams' off-season moves, but lukewarm to his decision to bring in Jermaine Dye, who has a very solid OPS of .822. I underrated their starting pitching staff, rating it only the 3rd best in the AL, when it has been the best. I spoke to the great starting pitching depth, with Jon Garland being the best 5th starter around, when I should have mentioned he might be the best starter in the league.

Ok, so I've done it. I've made my mea culpa's. Now there is a LONG line of other's who need to get behind me in line. You know who you are, so let's get to it, because the days of expecting a major collapse are over as the White Sox are 27 GAMES over .500 and unless there is an injury juggernaut which hits them with such a force that it fills Under the Knife, the south side of Chicago is in the playoffs. Just thought you ought to be made aware. Now back to your New York Yankee coverage. 24-7, 365, unless it's a leap year.

One of the big principles of the 'net is something we vaguely call "community." Whether it's a virtual gathering place like Toaster or SoSH or Open Source software, there's a common approach that everyone on the net loves to extol.

I don't get it.

To me, I like the immediacy and the feedback. I like that my readers become friends and that we can communicate. I like that I can ignore people relatively easily. I don't have the time or inclination to virtually get together. If community is a place where we can all feel free to discuss something, fine. If it descends in typical internet fashion into a dick-measuring contest at a Viagra users convention, I'll take a pass.

But I remain open to being convinced otherwise.

Right now, the thing that's intriguing me most is marketing. I'll have a post on that later.

Everyone has something that they wish they could do or take back or something, but when you look at things closely, there's usually something that looks like a gaping hole in your resume. I'm not talking about a skill here, but a "cool resume." Sure, I'd like to speak Spanish fluently, if only to understand the hypnotic sound of Shakira more completely, but that would take, you know, work and effort.

No, this is the easy stuff, the thing that you're almost embarassed to admit. Maybe you're like me and you've never seen "Godfather II" or are eagerly awaiting the next installment of Harry Potter. Commisserate, friends.

In other news, our pal TFD finally got an iPod. Apocalypse at 11.

I decided to wait to publish this piece, until after Father's Day, as I didn't want to taint anyone's day, in regards to celebrating the holiday with their father. Hopefully, you will read this and it will make you feel even better about your own daddy.

Coming off a Father's Day weekend, I would like to share why this is not a holiday I have ever celebrated. You see, I am not my father's son. I don't mean this statement in a lacivious manner, as my father is my biological parent. I state that I am not my father's son because I have spent most of my life running away from being like him.

To give you a little background, my dad, Carl Long, Jr., was a very difficult man to grow up around. I have described Carl as having the personality of basketball coach Bobby Knight, without the good mood swings. His method of parenting seemed patterned from the Pat Conroy character Robert Duval played in the movie, The Great Santini. Let me tell you, when I saw the scene in that movie where Duval continues to cheat and change the rules just so his son can't beat him in a game of driveway basketball, I felt as though I was watching a home movie from my childhood.

In my father's defense, it should be mentioned that he suffers from severe manic depression. At the time, it was an undiagnosed affliction, as in the seventies, in small-town Iowa, people didn't go to a psychiatrist and the local doctor didn't have any handy anti-depressants to prescribe. Our family just referred to it as "being moody". (I have always said that if my tyrannical father had worn a mood ring, it would have never changed colors).

Continue reading...

I've had a few people ask when I will be performing in Indy, so I thought I would give a heads-up to shows I will be doing next week. The shows will be on June 24 and 25 at the Comedy Club in the Adams Mark Hotel (Airport location.) I've set up a deal with the club on the 10:00 PM shows, for buy 1 get 1 free admission deals, so if you are interested in attending, email me at scott@scottlongonline.com. There also are 8:00 PM shows, but full admission price will happen at those. I'm in Oklahoma City this week, so if you are around and are not a fundamentalist Muslim, who loves Clay Aiken, come out to the Loony Bin Comedy Club and say hi.

Olbermann to ESPN.

Ok, it might be watchable again.

Please, please, please give us a Olbermann-Kenny Sportscenter, just once.

Guh! While my brain is still trying to wrap itself around the Nationals winning streak, I have a birthday coming up and wouldn't you know it, my dad asked me what I wanted. As regular visitors here know, I'm a gadget guy. Somehow, though, there's no "must-have" gadget on my radar right now.

Am I so old that a grill is the coolest thing I can think of? If you have suggestions, leave 'em in comments.

Notes from your wayward correspondent:

* Been working on a Slate piece that should see the light sometime this week. More on the gyroball.

* Been at work on one of the more lengthy blog-posts in a while. Very careful wording.

* Perturbed by a biased Amazon review. The guy insists on saying "Dr." Carroll, again perpetuating the myth that I've put myself out there as a doctor. It's clear he didn't read it and he has a vested interest in HGH. He should check out my work at Mesomorphosis if he thinks I'm anti-anything. I tried to find his number but the only one - at his "Institute for Natural Health" was out of service. Anyway, I'd love to talk to this guy. I'll give him ten minutes to make his case on my radio show. As with STP, people that have a vested financial interest are mobilizing against the book. While I take their opposition to the truth as a compliment, it still hurts to have negative reviews like this on Amazon. I wish there were a way to get Amazon to do something, but there's not. So I'll ask you - if you've read the book, please go give an honest Amazon review. Don't lie, don't tout, don't attack - just give some numbers to the people that come to the page to counter the negative.

* Looking forward to this week's NATA Convention. Should be interesting.

* So totally wasting most of Wednesday's work hours by going to see Batman Begins.

* Back soon. Promise.

Rage Against the Machine was one of the best bands of the 1990's, but when they called it quits in 2000, it seemed like an appropriate time, as they seemed to have explored almost everything they could do in the rock/rap genre. It was exciting news when guitarist Tom Morello, bassist Tim Commerfold, and drummer Brad Wilk announced they were reforming with Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell as the "supergroup" Audioslave. At a point when Creed and Limp Biskit ruled the rock radio airwaves, Audioslave's eponymous release gave these stations some needed quality.

If you could go into a laboratory to create the perfect hard rock singer, the result would be Cornell. The mix of his majestic pipes and heavy metal god-like looks, makes him the perfect choice to front a hard rock band. From the beginning, the name of the band and the CD cover art, made me a little queasy about Cornell's influence, but the music won out, as Audioslave's first release was one of the best of 2002.

The video to the first single, Cochise, was how a hard rock video should look and it didn't hurt that the song kicked harder than Ray Guy. Tom Morello's unique guitar style was abundant all over this release, especially on "Gasoline". The great rhythm section of Commerfold and Wilk were in fine form bringing their funky thud all over the record, while on "Light My Way", you got to hear what Rage would have sounded like if Cornell were just a hired gun. The former RATM members showed they could even provide a great backbeat to Cornell's bluesy ballad, "Getaway Car".

Considering that I felt the first Audioslave release was one of the best of 2002, I decided to go out and pick up their newest release, the first day it came out. Now I did have some trepidation about doing this, as the first single, "Be Yourself", I had listened to on MTV2 a few times the week prior, and was taken aback by how power ballad-ish the music was and how the lyrics seemed influenced by a Dr. Phil episode. Despite this initial reaction, I figured it was just a bad choice for the initial release.

Unfortunately, most of Audioslave's "Out of Exile" follows the "Be Yourself" example. From the cover art, which resembles a Ronnie James Dio album to the ridiculous lyrics which endlessly go over the sun, the waves, the clouds, it would appear that Cornell is in full control of the project. Black Hole Sun's and My Waves were great back in grunge era Soundgarden, but it's time to get past obsessing about the earth's elements. All the blame is not on Cornell, though, as the rest of the band rarely brings anything new to disc. Only some great licks on "Drown Me Slowly" and the dramatic passion displayed in "Heaven's Dead", saves this from being a snorefest.

Isn't it time to bring former RATM singer, Zach de la Rosa out of exile? Despite threatening a solo record since they broke up, only one movie soundtrack tune has hit the public from de la Rosa. It's like he's been hanging out in some rock and roll witness protection with Axl Rose. Isn't it ironic that when the band stops raging, the US undergoes a right-wing blast from Bush and his phony-crony crew. Just when the band would seem to be most needed, Zach is nowhere to be found and Tom is playing power chords behind "Be yourself is all that you can do." The first Audioslave release was a great change of pace, but guys, it's time to fight the powers that be.

Stepping into the void left by Rage, has been System of a Down. Coming out the week after "Out of Exile", System of a Down's "Mesmerize" just magnifies how weak Audioslave second release is. "Mesmerize" is the first of what will be 2 new releases in 2005 by SOAD and it just happens to be the best CD from start to finish, since Green Day's "American Idiot". The band manages to do something very difficult-- take on social and political issues, while still making dynamic music.

If you haven't heard System of a Down, before, listening to them is like hearing a mix tape scattered with early Metallica, Frank Zappa, Queen, and Primus. Kind of like a reuben sandwich, the ingredients don't seem to fit well together, but somehow, their merging flavors leave something delicious to consume. The standout song, "B.Y.O.B" is a brilliant mix of ideas, with a great anti-war message. Not since Midnight Oil's "Beds are Burning" has a tune been so catchy and subversive at the same time.

Overall I would rate "Mesmerize" an A, while "Out of Exile" gets a C-. In today's world of downloading, it's rare to have a need to purchase a whole disc, but System of a Down's "Mesmerize" is one of the exceptions.

But I kinda told you so. I'm speaking of my rating the White Sox the 8th best team in baseball in my pre-season rankings. Many have been waiting for the big fall, but when you reach a point where you are 21 games above .500, it's time to forget about losing seasons. Only 3 teams are playing better than .600 baseball (Cards, Twins, and White Sox), as the difference between 4 and 22 in the rankings is about 7 games in the standings. The following is my monthly piece on the beauty of the White Sox.

First though, we must discuss the Yankees role in this story, as it's mandated by ESPN. The Yankees are 11 games behind the White Sox and 7 games behind the Twins in the wild card race. I'm not saying the Bronx Pacifists are out of the Playoff hunt, but I think their focus needs to be on winning the East, as it's their best odds. As bad as the Yanks have played, they are only 3 games behind the Red Sox. The Orioles are good, but their pitching is starting to catch up with them, while the Blue Jays have ridden one of the 2 best pitchers in the AL, Roy Halladay, but with the rest of the staff, an overall losing record lurks.

I've been a broken record since the winter that the White Sox starting staff was way better than people were giving it credit for. Sure, it's highly unlikely that they are going to continue at the pace they've set since opening day, but then, the hitting of the White Sox has shown signs of awakening, which should balance that out. If you are unaware, outside of the top 2 in the batting order, Posednik and Iguchi, not one other Sox regular has played up to past career levels. The brightest addition for the rest of the season's offense is the return of a hitter with a career OPS of .996, Frank Thomas. Sure his health is still a question mark, but what a Huge edition to the lineup, if he is in the batter's box.

When handicapping the AL Central race, here are the main factors to watch for the rest of the season.

1)Who will fall off more from their current All-Star stats, Jon Garland or Carlos Silva?
2)Will the White Sox relief pitching continue to be solid? (This is the Twins biggest strength.)
3)Who will provide more offense, Justin Morneau or Frank Thomas? (Health is the major factor.)
4)Who will provide more offense, A.J. Pierzynski or Joe Mauer? (See above.)
5)Will Posednik and Iguchi continue to spur the offense, with OBP's over .350?
6)Can Joe Mays hold up? (The White Sox have more starting pitching depth.)
7)Will Ozzie Guillen take clippers to Jeff Brantley's mullet? (Sorry, that's for another post)

So I'm doing some research on the bidders for DC's team - now reaching finalist stage, with some requisite Seligian footdragging to see if his buddy Stan Kasten can find some extra money in the couch cushions. It occurs to me that other than George Steinbrenner, we know next to nothing about these guys. Therefore, let's use the power of the blog to come up with our own database about these guys. First come, first served, in the following format:

YANKEES: George Steinbrenner, Principal Owner.
Steinbrenner has owned the team since 1973 after leading a group of private investors. Steinbrenner's money came mostly from his Cleveland shipbuilding company, American Shipbuilding Company (AmShip.) AmShip was started by his father. AmShip went bankrupt in the 1992 but Steinbrenner has ties through his son in law to Maritime Towing. His principal source of income is the Yankees themselves, believed to be unique in baseball if not sports. Yankees limited partners have included James M. Nederlander, Marvin Goldklang, John Henry, and Jeffrey Loria. A current list is unavailable. Steinbrenner's fortune is almost entirely wrapped up in the Yankees, meaning he is worth around a billion dollars.

UPDATE: The Wikipedia already has started something similar, so why reinvent the wheel. As pointed out by deadteddy8, go to this link and fill in the blank owners and correct or add to others.

Taking sometime off from bringing peace to the world, this post is a mish-mash of things I've been meaning to get to. I want to be upfront that during this column, there could be a moment where I might become dehydrated and need to be hospitalized, so please be patient. (If you were unaware, 3 times, Michael Jackson has had this happen during his trial. If nothing else, the guy should be required to spend jail time for being a grown man, impersonating Scarlett O'Hara. Be prepared for Michael moments to follow.)

**************

I'm aware that the Yankees have more history than any other professional sports franchise, and yes, they have a roster filled with superstar salaries, if not players, but could ESPN pull back a little on their full-time coverage of the them. Considering that the Yankees have their own network (YES), do they need to lead Baseball Tonight and be the only MLB talk on ESPN syndicated radio. It's time to start considering that the Bronx Pacifists are not worth spending so much time on and check out some of the teams that are actually playing great ball. Anyway, the world doesn't need more coverage of the Yanks, as Bronx Banter covers everything you need on the Yankees.

The five teams in the NL East have less than 2 games separating them, which begs the question, what is going on with the Marlins? The Braves have had injuries, the Mets new pieces are still trying to fit, the Nationals are playing over their heads, and the Phillies are, well they're the Phillies, but how is it that Florida is barely above .500 with Dontrelle Willis pitching the way he is. In the West, I still suspect the Dodgers will make it a 2-team race, with the Diamondbacks starting to drift below .500.

(Whew, I'm feeling whoozy. Hee-hee. Does anybody have a Gatorade for the King of Pop.)

**************

The Top 10 Sexy Jobs, according to a survey done at Salary.com, listed reporter number 4 on its list. Now do you see why we went with Tri-County Messenger, initially?

**************

Just finished watching a riveting Inside the Actor's Studio, with Angelina Jolie. James Lipton was at his creepiest, continuing a line of questioning about her lesbian proclivities on film and off. Let me say, Mr. Lipton, it was gratituous, lascivious, and I thank you for every minute of it. The most memorable part of the interview is when Jolie mentioned that sex with her first boyfriend was not exciting enough, so she cut herself and then cut him and the blood that covered their bodies, caused her heart to race and the whole experience "just seemed more honest." CRAAAAZYTOWN! Then I thought about it little more, that this boyfriend was 14 and I realized, 14 year-old Scott would have done whatever was needed to seal the deal, especially with a goddess like Jolie.
(Dialogue between 14 year-pld Scott and naked Angelina.) So you want to take this power drill and shove it in my cornea? Sounds fair. Just tell me which eye you want me to put it in.)

(Man all this sexy talk has got me parched. Can someone get me some Jesus Juice and fast!)

**************

Finally got around to seeing "Hit Me Baby One More Time", which had been on my TIVO Now Playing list. Everything about the show is a train wreck. The look of the show makes you think it was directed by someone who generally does infomercials. The host is quite possibly the most annoying person ever to inhabit NBC airspace. If you haven't seen him, I would descibe him as the having hair like a boy-band member, clothes stripped from a Mannequin at Structure, and Osmond teeth, which are unlikely because he's from England. The one thing that bonded all the performers was cellulite. Washed up pop stars making fools of themselves on National Television, I'm hooked!

Well, I'm finished, my body is drained, will someone call the paramedics. I need an IV, does anyone have the blood of a young boy. Shamon, Shamon, hee-hee.

Interesting week upcoming with some news all over the place ...

BALCO comes back to the news with a couple different venues bubbling. Greg Anderson (Barry Bonds' trainer) has an evidentiary hearing to question the search of both BALCO and his residence. There's some questions about this (addressed extremely well in The Juice). If the search and Conte's statements are allowed in, there's almost no defense. That said, Rick Collins was quoted in ESPN as saying the penalties should be minor and that we should anticipate plea bargains. There's lots of speculation that Conte already has a deal, something I believe is the case. (Collins is not a disinterested party in this, though not yet directly involved.)

Baseball hopes that this gets swept away in layers of proceedings and legal mumbo-jumbo. If you heard this week's BPR, you'll know it will do little to solve the real problem.

BALCO also will be involved in the Tim Montgomery hearing. It's unclear whether there's actually a positive test in Montgomery's pending suspension. That's punk. I'm all for suspensions once there's a positive result and a known procedure. This type of thing is star chamber quality.

If it all breaks right, the PR will be good for sport, bad for justice, and worse for fixing the problem. Where it could get interesting is if this spirals a bit or if any of the parties to the BALCO case get a bit chatty after a decision. We know that Conte is working on a book and that Fainaru-Wada has one coming in the spring. It could get chatty between now and then, especially if the REAL parties like Conte and others are called before Congress.

***

The draft starts Tuesday and while it's not on TV, it is on MLB.tv. That's a start. MLB's doing it's bit to publicize something I think is easy. It won't be huge or even good drama like the NFL or NBA draft, but who thought those would be big?

I participated in John Sickel's mock draft today and it reminded me just how much of a monopoly Baseball America has on this. Everyone basically followed their lists, spouted their commentary, and knew nothing beyond what their "scouting service" told them. This is to be expected, I guess, and I'm not faulting the people that participated.

Luckily, BA is a "good" monopoly and generally is right on top of this. I know no one is better connected and at this time of the year, they're as manic as anyone. I wonder if MLB could put up more scouting (actual scouting bureau reports?) and more video of the top players. ESPN could do the same thing, I guess, but has showed little interest.

***

I got a couple emails telling me that Jim Tracy had "The Juice" on his desk during a pre-game interview. That's pretty cool.

***

Whoa.

Driving today, I pulled out of Burger King and found myself behind a blue 1983 Toyota Corolla. The color is actually deep blue and I know this because my first girlfriend drove one. She got it for her birthday and was none too happy, expecting something else. (She upgraded a year later.)

***

I drove downtown and watched people cross the street in front of me in their uniforms of ties and khakis and sullen looks. Lunch and the weekend seemed like escape. I sat in my car, a t-shirt and jeans, talking on my phone.

***

My iPod has the new Coldplay and Fall Out Boy in heavy rotation. I passed six billboards for classic rock stations while I drove. I probably didn't notice others. I know I won't be the oldest guy at the Pixies show next week, only because Scott Long is older than me.

***

I had lunch with Bryan Smith on Wednesday. Thinking back to that blue Corolla and late spring nights in the hills of Mountain Brook, it's theoretically possible that I could have a kid older than Bryan, but certainly not sharper.

***

Ever find yourself Googling old friends or worse, old girlfriends?

***

"Hit Me Baby One More Time" is just wrong. Yet I'll watch, just like I'll watch "Bands Reunited" and "Behind The Music." It's easier to remember seeing U2 at Boutwell Auditorium, singing the stage with songs from Boy and War than it is to find the next band that could be U2.

***

Remember the first time a Playboy Playmate was younger than you? Mark Grudzialanek was born the same day as me. Ryne Sandberg is about to go into the Hall of Fame. He has his own "retro" jersey, on sale at Von Maur.

***

That blue Corolla had seen better days, dented and a bit faded. So have I.

Recently, I received a comment from a reader castigating me for something I wrote, referring to me as a "bigot". Being called a bigot is a pretty serious charge, but trying to keep an open-mind, I decided to look up the definition of the word to see if there was any validity to the accusation.

Bigot: One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.

Well, it would be accurate to say I'm strongly partial to my own beliefs on all these subjects, but considering I have little use for groups and religion, while being politically all over the place, it makes it hard for me to see these characteristics holding true, in regards to me.

Race is the one that most people attach to the word bigot. Since I don't like most people I deal with, I must be a HUGE bigot. I've said before that Black people really bug me, I mean next to White people, I can't think of a group who pisses me off more. You see, since I know more white people than anyone, I rate them number one on my list of races who piss me off. Considering I've never met any purple people, I'm cool with them at the present time, though Barney the Dinosaur irritates the crap out of me.

The final part of the definition of being a bigot, "intolerant of those who differ" is the part I feel is the least accurate in regards to me. I have an extreme Libertarian view of life, which is the reason I'm so uncomfortable about any fundamentalist religious ideology being dictated to me or any other person. I would defend your right to have the freedom to worship any magical man in the sky, so I ask you, how about some freedom from religion for the one's of us who prefer it? I know this is a simplistic question, but freedom from religion is something that many people all over the world are not allowed to have and in the US, there is a concerted effort to put religion in the government and the schools.

I have a strong amount of bigotry against others who want to FORCE their beliefs on me. I do my best to be open to opposing or differing views, I just ask for the same privilege. When I see people because of some orthodoxy, forced to behave in a way which is ridiculous to the modern world we live in, the tap on my "bigot" spigot turns to full blast. I know in the politically correct time that we live in, I should have some protective shield from allowing the tap to turn, but I believe if more people who are like-minded, were willing to speak their mind against fundamentalist religious irrationality, these groups would lose some of the power they have gained across the world.

Sincerely,
The Salman Rushdie of Baseball Bloggers