Next to maybe grass and sky, nothing pockmarks the landscape of our country more than McDonalds "restaurants". The newest product that the company is touting on every billboard and sign surrounding their stores is called a Fruit and Walnut Salad. McDonalds touts their new product claiming it will give you a "fruit buzz". Has there ever been a more transparent promotion of a product? We all know that no one goes to McDonald's to eat an apple, red grape and candied walnut salad.
So why make such a massive push to promote a product that absolutely no one is going to eat? Well, it's part of McDonald's strategy of fighting back against the critics who claim they are poisoning America. After a movie like "Super Size Me", which painted them in a horrible light, McDonald's dropped the super size element of their business model. To follow that up on their PR crusade, you can now get a fruit buzz, for only $2.99. Uh, considering that you can get a Double Cheeseburger Combo buzz for the about the same price, I just have a hard time believing that this Fruit Walnut Salad is much more than a superficial panacea for what McDonalds is really all about.
All the fast food restaurants are worried that they are going to continue to face lawsuits from people blaming their obesity on the evil grease dealers. While I do think that there should be some limits put on advertising unhealthy food during kids programming, adults should be able to deal with their freedom of choice. We all know the obese guy who sues McDonald's is the same guy who was at the counter prior to the lawsuit, saying "I need a shake, I need some fries, I need....."
Uh what you need is some personal responsibility.
(NOTE: Adult Language content below the fold)
Hey we all have our problems. Let's just say that I pleasure myself too much. (Hypothetical example) That's my right and it shouldn't be an issue as long as I have a tissue. Now if I was suing the porno industry over this particular predilection, that's when my lack of self-responsiblity starts to impact others. Having said this, you have to admit that the case would be one great episode of a People's Court.
(Standing in front of judge being sworn in.)
Baliff- "Please raise your hand and recite to the" (cut-off)
Me- (Holding hand in air and looking at it) "Actually, this hand is the defendant. No wait a minute, it's actually the other hand. Hold it, sorry, I'm ambidextrous."
So in summation. We all know what you're doing McDonalds with your "fruit buzz" salad. I know you're the Number 1 target for litigation by those who lack personal responsibility, but despite the garbage you've been serving, people in this country continue to live longer and longer. And the reason for this is not because Americans just consume Fruit and Walnut salads. Now, I'm off to Hardees/Carls Jr. because they know who they are and I appreciate a pusher who doesn't try to hide what I need.