It's confession time. As someone who reviews a lot of music here, I should mention that lyrics often take a backseat to the rest of the components of the song I'm listening to. Like most, I live a busy life and it takes a lot of extra work to absorb a Dylan-like piece of poetry. Most of the time what I want most from music is the mysterious thing that happens when a voice melds itself to instrument

Just to demonstrate how much I'm in it for the hook, there are times when Arena Rock is my choice. If you are unaware of what Arena Rock is, it is a type of music that ruled album-oriented radio (AOR) stations during the 70's and 80's. Bands like Journey, Boston, Foreigner, Styx, REO, etc. were the kings of Arena Rock, filling music venues across the country.

Growing up in Iowa during this time period, this genre was by far the dominant sound coming from my radio. While I have a love/hate relationship with Arena Rock, it still has the power to bring me back to my youth. Arena Rock is comfort food on the level of macaroni and cheese for someone in my age bracket. Sure you know it has no nutritional value, but sometimes it's hard to not want to consume it.

After going through the litany of arena rock supergroup hit songs, I have come up with what I consider the quintessential most cliched rock lyric of all-time.

High On You by Survivor

There you stood, that'll teach ya
To look so good and feel so right
Let me tell you about the girl I met last night

It's understood, I had to reach her
I let the wheel of fortune spin
I touched your hand before the crowd
Started rushin' in
Now I'm higher than a kite
I know I'm gettin' hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of my sleep and I --

I can't stop thinking 'bout you, girl
I must be living in a fantasy world
I'm so high on you

Smart and coy, a little crazy
The kinda face that starts a fight
Let me tell you 'bout the girl I had last night
Piercing eyes, like a raven
You seemed to share my secret sin
We were high before the night
Started kickin' in
Now I'm screamin' in the night
I know I'm gettin' hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of my sleep and I --

Chorus - I can't stop thinking 'bout you, girl
I must be living in a fantasy world
I've searched the whole world over
To find a heart so true
Such complete intoxication
I'm high on you

There you stood, that'll teach ya
To look so good and feel so right
Let me tell you about the girl I met last night
Now I'm higher than a kite
I know I'm gettin' hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of my sleep and I --

Chorus - I can't stop thinking 'bout you, girl
I must be living in a fantasy world
I've searched the whole world over
To find a heart so true
Such complete intoxication
I'm high on you
I'm high on you
I'm high on you

Let's break the song down in 3 parts. First let me begin with the subject matter. In the classic form of arena rock the author discusses how pussy-whipped he is for some chick he met. Totally embarassing, as the lyrics are on the level of a junior high confessional. I'm sure it got him laid time after time by stupid women who always ate this shit up, though.

Next, we will tackle the music. Standard form from the arena rockstar, with guitars that are played like they are singing, while being enhanced by synthesizer fills. The singer for Survivor at this point was a guy named Jimi Jamison, who had replaced original singer, Dave Bickler, who was more of a rocker. Jamison had the high-pitched girly man voice that was vital to any successful arena rock band.

Finally let's get to the lyrics. The beginning is really confusing, as I can't really figure out when he is talking about the girl he has the hard-on for...when he is talking about some other chick who is hot, but isn't her...and when...well, as I said I'm confused. Anyway, what makes this such a classic cliched rock song is on the 8th verse.

Now I'm higher than a kite
I know I'm gettin' hooked on your love
Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of my sleep and I --

I can't stop thinking 'bout you, girl
I must be living in a fantasy world
I'm so high on you

Here begins the rock cliche-fest. Higher than a kite...getting hooked on your love...talkin' to myself....runnin' in the heat. Then comes the chorus of how he is living in a fantasy world because he is so high on you.

Oh and don't think that this is the only cliched song the band wrote. I recommend checking out their other big hits and slather yourself in one cliche after another that made Survivor such a bad band. The lyrics to I Can't Hold Back are just as dismal. Outside of the horrible ballads Heart was doing at the time, there might not have been a more consistent plague on the charts than Survivor during the mid-80's.

Let me mention that Survivor's juvenile lyrics and generic sound made them a real target to me when Jamison was the singer, but during their prior years with Bickler, I think they had 4 or 5 good singles. I defy anyone not to feel the energy that Eye of the Tiger brings to your system, as Starbucks understood when they used it as the theme of their great commercial they created a few years back.

For a few years now, I have been contemplating covering the topic of what is the most cliched rock song of all-time. While all genres of music have their basic formula for success, no type had more cliched lyrics as Arena rock. Basically there were 2 topics in a classic arena rock song.

1. Attempting or succeeding in getting in a woman's pants. (see above)
2. The glorification of rocking out.

This second category is where I still feel the tug of this music. Sure this tug on its merits might be no better than the tug you would get from a lot lizard on the backlot of a truck stop giving manual release to feed her meth habit (also known as cranking for crank), but sometimes you can close your eyes and just concentrate on the feeling it provides and forget the hand that brought you the pleasure. (This last sentence was approved by David Foster Wallace's editor.)

While rappers have always been able to seem cool discussing how they rock the mic, white musicians seem really corny discussing how hard they rock. Well, this is where my inner 14 year-old still inhabits me, because as silly as I realize it is to offer up a lyric like the following, I still kind of dig it on another level.

I Like to Rock by April Wine

Well alright, somethin's got you goin' tonight
Doin' all she can, it's alright
Come on can't you see
That when we all let go
We get high on rock 'n' roll

Journey to the stars, rock 'n' roll guitars, yeah
I like to rock, some like it hot, baby
I like it, you like it
I like to rock, I like to rock

I can sing, that's the kind of life for me
Want it loose and fancy free
Come on then let's go
And it'll be alright
We can rock 'n' roll all night

Journey to the stars, rock 'n' roll guitars, yeah
I like to rock, some like it hot, baby
I like it, you like it
I like to rock, I like to rock

Ooh, I like to rock
Some like it hot, baby
I like it, you like it
I like to rock, I like to rock

I mean how ridiculous are these lyrics? Journey to the stars, rock 'n' roll guitars, yeah...I like to rock, some like it hot, baby...I like it, you like it....I like to rock, I like to rock!
And somehow, with a driving beat and some bad-ass guitar solos, it works for me. Tenacious D has embraced this element of rock, by both giving tribute and satirizing it at the same time.

Way before even Chuck Berry recorded Rock and Roll Music, the term rock and roll was being used by blues and country artists. My guess is what really set about the whole song about the rock lifestyle was the Grand Funk Railroad classic, We're an American Band.

Grand Funk Railroad had been out on the road for 40 days, when last night in Little Rock put (them) in a haze. Sweet, sweet Connie (was) doin' her act and we all know that she had the whole show and that's a natural fact. You see, booze and ladies keep (them) right, as long as (they) can make it to the show tonite. Later that night they met some ladies who had some plans. They was out to meet the boys in the bands. They said "come on dudes, let's get it on." And guess what, (they) proceeded to burn that hotel down. Why? Because (they are) an American Band. (They) come into your town, they'll help you party it down. Because (they are) an American band.

Any red-blooded American boy who heard that had to think, "this is what my life's calling must be." Below are more arena rock songs from the 1970-1985 era that are all about rocking. Enjoy.

There's Only One Way to Rock- Sammy Hagar

Now quickly, check the hands on the clock
It's 8:05, it's time to rock
And this world can disagree
They don't understand how it can be
And it's not my point of view
It's a fact, and you know that it's true
Crank up the drums, crank out the bass
Crank out the Les Paul in your face

But there's only one way
There's Only Way to Rock

Sammy Hagar might be the leader in the clubhouse on writing songs about rocking out. The one above is one of the best. I mean come on people, check the hands on the clock, it's 8:05, it's time to rock. Hey it's not my point of view, it's a fact, and you know that it's true.

We Will Rock You- Queen: When you go over the brief lyrics to this song you realize that Freddie Mercury didn't spend much time writing this one. Of course, this gave him more time to do the important things in life, like shopping for one-piece leotards and giving free mustache rides to any Tom, Dick or Sally.

Rock and Roll Fantasy- Bad Company

Here come the jesters, 1 2 3,
It's all part of my fantasy,
I love the music,
And I love to see the crowd,
Dancing in the aisles
And singin' out loud, yeah
Here come the dancers, one by one,
Your momma's callin' but you're having fun,
You find your dancin' on the number 9 cloud,
Put your hands together now, and sing it out loud.

It's all part of my rock and roll fantasy
It's all part of my rock and roll dream

Much like Sammy Hagar, Bad Company lead singer Paul Rodgers can really sing his ass off, though the lyrics he offers up are often really silly. What the hell does here come the jesters, 1,2,3 mean? Oh yeah, it's just a part of Paul's rock and roll fantasy, you know, his rock and roll dream.

Rock and Roll Hootchie Koos- Rick Derringer

Rock and roll hoochie koo
(Rock and roll hoochie koo)
Lawdy mama, light my fuse
(Light my fuse)
Rock and roll hoochie koo
(Rock and roll hoochie koo)
Truck on out and spread the news

Written with Johnny Winter, this song has managed to keep Derringer on the oldies revues playing every county fair in the midwest. Now please join me, as I truck on out and spread the news.

Rock and Roll Band- Boston: I'm not a big fan of the group, but I have to say the lyrics to this song describe the band's rise to fame beautifully. Well-written arena rock song.

(You Can Still) Rock in America- Night Ranger

Little brother's got it ready to roll
Tires burning as they head for the show
Light it up and turn the music up loud
And Rock it rock it rock it

You can still rock in America

Now here is a classic in the arena rock genre. For more on my personal experience with the band, let me lead you to this particular brush with greatness. Ladies and Gentlemen, you too CAN STILL ROCK IN AMERICA.

Rock You Like a Hurricane- Scorpions

It's early morning
The sun comes out
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud
My cat is purring
And scratches my skin
So what is wrong
With another sin
The bitch is hungry
She needs to tell
So give her inches
And feed her well
More days to come
New places to go
I've got to leave
It's time for a show

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane

The Scorpions were more of a heavy-metal band, but on this album they became more melodic to sell records to girls. It worked. The Scorpions always seemed like the German version of Spinal Tap, as they were completely over the top. Despite their ridiculous clothing, hair, lyrical content, album covers, and strange behavior, I still think the band rocks...dare I say it...Like a Hurricane, baby.

You Can't Kill Rock and Roll- Ozzy Osbourne

Leave me alone
Don't want your promises no more
'Cause rock'n'roll is my religion and my law
Won't ever change,
May think it's strange
You can't kill rock'n'roll
It's here to stay.

Spending one day in the paranoid mind of early 80's Blizzard of Oz would have been even more fun than being transported through a portal to John Malkovich's consciousness. Yes Ozzy, rock'n'roll is your religion and law...it's can't be killed...it is here to stay. Don't worry.

Rock of Ages- Def Leppard

Rise up! gather round
Rock this place to the ground
Burn it up let's go for broke
Watch the night go up in smoke
Rock on! Rock on!
Drive me crazier, no serenade
No fire brigade, just-a pyromania
C'mon
What do you want?
What do you want?
I want rock'n'roll
Yes I do
Long live rock'n'roll

Another heavy metal band that crossed over into a more classic rock sound to great success. While according to all the sources I've checked out the opening phrase Gunter Glieben Glauchen, Globen is jibberish, I would like to start the rumor that it is a German law firm which also has a rough play dungeon located in the basement of its building. Bring out the Gimp!

Rock Me Tonite- Billy Squier: If you forgot, Squier was a huge star for about 3 years. He came out of nowhere with the In the Dark record and then had a big hit with his follow-up. He was such a big deal that he was headlining big rooms. What I remember about this was when his big break happened, the opening act for Squier's show was Def Leppard. Well, early on during this tour Pyromania explodes and all of a sudden people were showing up to see the opening act and then leaving before Mr. Stroke hit the stage. Some friends of mine went to the show and said that Squier seemed really pissed off about the place being half-empty by the time he came on. I remember saying "I guess not Everybody Wants You, Billy." Hey, it worked then, and dammit, I'm not above using it again. Maybe I should recycle those Reagan jokes for my stand-up?

Kids Wanna Rock- Bryan Adams

Turned on the radio
Sounded like a disco
Musta turned the dial for a couple of miles
But I couldn't find no rock 'n roll

This computerized crap ain't gettin' me off
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
London to L.A.
Talkin' 'bout the New Wave
For a couple of bucks you get a weird haircut
And waste your life away

Around the world or around the block
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock
Get me my D.J.
I got somethin' he's gotta play
Wanna hear it I can't wait
So turn it up, turn it up...

Kick down the barricades
Listen what the kids say
From time to time people change their minds
But the music is here to stay

I've seen it all from the bottom to the top
Everywhere I go the kids wanna rock

I can remember back in 1984 Des Moines, I was working a summer security job which played the big radio station in the market over the speakers. During each hour, it seemed like you were guaranteed to hear Phil Collins, Huey Lewis, and Bryan Adams. It was enough to bring on dementia during an 8-hour shift. This was not one of Adams bigger hits, but it is probably the most clever lyrics of his career, even though he was slagging a lot of music that was superior to his own.

It's the Heart of Rock and Roll- Huey Lewis and the News

When they play their music
That hard rock music
They like it with a lot of flash
But it's still that same old back beat rhythm
That really kicks 'em in the

They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating
And from what I've seen I believe 'em
Now the old boy may be barely breathing
But the heart of rock and roll is still beating

While I have mixed feelings about the book American Psycho, I loved the idea of self-absorbed serial killer (Patirick Bateman) discussing his love for Huey Lewis. If you are unaware of the movie version, here is the dialogue specific to Huey.

Patrick Bateman: Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?
Paul Allen: They're OK.
Patrick Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83,I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consimante professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour.
Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.
Patrick Bateman: Yes, Allen?
Paul Allen: Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?
Patrick Bateman: No, Allen.
Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?
Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
[raises axe above head]
Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul!
[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]
Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!

And the Cradle Will Rock- Van Halen

Well, they say it's kinda frightnin'
How this younger generation swings
You know it's more than just some new sensation
Well, the kid is into losin' sleep
And he don't come home for half the week
You know it's more than just an aggravation

And the cradle will rock
Yes the cradle, cradle will rock
And I say rock on. Uh! Rock on

One of Van Halen's best songs. This was before Diamond Dave had begun to phone it in. An important queston arises in the middle of this tune. Have you seen Junior's Grades? Ow!

Love is Like a Rock- Donnie Iris

You can’t depend on your teacher;
You can’t depend on your preacher;
You can’t depend on politicians;
And you can’t depend on superstitions.
Hey!
Love can rock you!
Never stop you!
Aah, aah, aah, ah...
Love is like a rock!

Not really a song about rocking, but it has rock in the title, so I'm including it. Iris was one of the most underrated arena rockers, but his Buddy Holly look and more eclectic sound made him a hard sell. I would have to say Iris was right-on about not depending on teachers. preachers. politicians, and superstitions. Vote Donnie Iris for Mayor of Pittsburgh.

It's Only Rock and Roll- Rolling Stones

If I could stick my pen in my heart
And spill it all over the stage
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would you think the boy is strange? Ain't he strange?

If I could win ya, if I could sing ya
A love song so divine
Would it be enough for your cheating heart
If I broke down and cried? If I cried?

I said I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it
I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it
I said can't you see that this old boy has been a lonely?

The Stones were way too good to be considered an arena rock band, even though they were played on the same classic rock stations. These lyrics are beautifully dark. Below is the second portion of the song.

If I could stick a knife in my heart
Suicide right on stage
Would it be enough for your teenage lust
Would it help to ease the pain? Ease your brain?

If I could dig down deep in my heart
Feelings would flood on the page
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would ya think the boy's insane? He's insane

I said I know it's only rock 'n roll but I like it

Rock and Roll- Led Zeppelin

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled,
It's been a long time since I did the Stroll.
Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,
Let me get it back, baby, where I come from.
It's been a long time, been a long time,
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. Yes it has.

Like the Stones, Zeppelin is way too accomplished to be put in the arena rock format. Take a look at your typical Dylan songsheet and then look at this one. Not much brain power by Page/Plant on these words, but it still sounds better than almost anything in the Dylan songbook.

Free-For-All- Ted Nugent

See you there with your cheshire grin
I got my eyes on you
Shake yout tail feather in my face and there's no tell in what I'll do
Well looky here, you sweet young thing: the magic's in my hands
When in doubt, I'll whip it out. I got me in a rock'n'roll band

It's a free for all

Now this is more like the stupid fun I want from an arena rock lyric. Uncle Ted has a 100 songs like this one, but when in doubt, I'll whip it out...I got me in a rock'n'roll band is one of the motor city madman's best.

Jukebox Hero- Foreigner

Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream
He heard one guitar, just blew him away
He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day

Bought a beat up six string, in a secondhand store
Didn't know how to play it, but he knew for sure
That one guitar, felt good in his hands, didn't take long, to understand
Just one guitar, slung way down low
Was a one way ticket, only one way to go
So he started rockin', ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on rockin', someday gonna make it to the top

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes, he's a juke box hero
He took one guitar, juke box hero, stars in his eyes
Juke box hero, (stars in his eyes) He'll come alive tonight

In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one guitar, made his whole life change
Now he needs to keep on rockin', he just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin', that boy has got to stay on top

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Yeah, juke box hero, stars in his eyes
With that one guitar, (stars in his eyes)
He'll come alive, come alive tonight...Woah

We finally come to the last song I could think of with the rock theme. Jukebox Hero just might be the most perfect arena rock tune of all-time. It tells a detailed story of being a rock star, with the type of dramatic pompousity that just might be unmatched in the genre. Singer Lou Gramm sang a lot of shit songs, but his pipes are in the Paul Rodgers class.

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Author's note: I never planned on this piece ending up to be even a third as long as it turned out. For those of you that have made it this far, if you find any important spelling or grammatical errors, send me an email at scott@scottlongonline.com

I'm not interested in getting bitch slapped around for mistakes on this one in my comments section. It's too large of an opus to expect me to get it all perfect. Considering the size, I didn't want to farm it out to my proofreading volunteer, either.

One other note. I didn't include I'm Just a Singer in a Rock and Roll Band, because the subject matter or music style is not in the arena rock genre. Any other submissions that I might have missed that do fit the format, please offer up in the comments. Thanks.