Taking sometime off from bringing peace to the world, this post is a mish-mash of things I've been meaning to get to. I want to be upfront that during this column, there could be a moment where I might become dehydrated and need to be hospitalized, so please be patient. (If you were unaware, 3 times, Michael Jackson has had this happen during his trial. If nothing else, the guy should be required to spend jail time for being a grown man, impersonating Scarlett O'Hara. Be prepared for Michael moments to follow.)

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I'm aware that the Yankees have more history than any other professional sports franchise, and yes, they have a roster filled with superstar salaries, if not players, but could ESPN pull back a little on their full-time coverage of the them. Considering that the Yankees have their own network (YES), do they need to lead Baseball Tonight and be the only MLB talk on ESPN syndicated radio. It's time to start considering that the Bronx Pacifists are not worth spending so much time on and check out some of the teams that are actually playing great ball. Anyway, the world doesn't need more coverage of the Yanks, as Bronx Banter covers everything you need on the Yankees.

The five teams in the NL East have less than 2 games separating them, which begs the question, what is going on with the Marlins? The Braves have had injuries, the Mets new pieces are still trying to fit, the Nationals are playing over their heads, and the Phillies are, well they're the Phillies, but how is it that Florida is barely above .500 with Dontrelle Willis pitching the way he is. In the West, I still suspect the Dodgers will make it a 2-team race, with the Diamondbacks starting to drift below .500.

(Whew, I'm feeling whoozy. Hee-hee. Does anybody have a Gatorade for the King of Pop.)

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The Top 10 Sexy Jobs, according to a survey done at Salary.com, listed reporter number 4 on its list. Now do you see why we went with Tri-County Messenger, initially?

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Just finished watching a riveting Inside the Actor's Studio, with Angelina Jolie. James Lipton was at his creepiest, continuing a line of questioning about her lesbian proclivities on film and off. Let me say, Mr. Lipton, it was gratituous, lascivious, and I thank you for every minute of it. The most memorable part of the interview is when Jolie mentioned that sex with her first boyfriend was not exciting enough, so she cut herself and then cut him and the blood that covered their bodies, caused her heart to race and the whole experience "just seemed more honest." CRAAAAZYTOWN! Then I thought about it little more, that this boyfriend was 14 and I realized, 14 year-old Scott would have done whatever was needed to seal the deal, especially with a goddess like Jolie.
(Dialogue between 14 year-pld Scott and naked Angelina.) So you want to take this power drill and shove it in my cornea? Sounds fair. Just tell me which eye you want me to put it in.)

(Man all this sexy talk has got me parched. Can someone get me some Jesus Juice and fast!)

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Finally got around to seeing "Hit Me Baby One More Time", which had been on my TIVO Now Playing list. Everything about the show is a train wreck. The look of the show makes you think it was directed by someone who generally does infomercials. The host is quite possibly the most annoying person ever to inhabit NBC airspace. If you haven't seen him, I would descibe him as the having hair like a boy-band member, clothes stripped from a Mannequin at Structure, and Osmond teeth, which are unlikely because he's from England. The one thing that bonded all the performers was cellulite. Washed up pop stars making fools of themselves on National Television, I'm hooked!

Well, I'm finished, my body is drained, will someone call the paramedics. I need an IV, does anyone have the blood of a young boy. Shamon, Shamon, hee-hee.