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Supporting Most of the Troops
2007-11-23 21:12
by Scott Long

The biggest misunderstandings in regards to standup comedy is that comics like to be heckled. While most of the audience understands this, there are a surprising amount who don't. Very few comedians are very adept at dealing with hecklers. Some comics have a character they inhabit, others are very low-key in their delivery, while most have a set routine and heckling wrecks the timing of their act.

I'm one of the exceptions when it comes to hecklers, as even though my goal is to do the act that I have planned, I'm more than willing to verbally evicerate whoever gets in my way. Dealing with hecklers is not my goal, though. Let me explain it this way.

Outside of psychiatrists, I can't think of a profession where people get uncomfortable having a conversation with you, as many believe they will somehow wind up me analyzing them and then put them into my act. There was a woman who lived in my neighborhood, who would always bring this up saying “I bet you will end up putting me in your show.” Finally, I decided to alleviate her fears. I explained that “don’t think for a second that anything in your life would be interesting enough to make its way into my act.” I think I can speak for most comedians in saying that we are not trolling for material and most of what does come to us is when we are by ourselves. Same goes for hecklers. You are not going to help our show, unless it is a completely dead audience and the comedian you heckle just happens to be adept at the art of roasting.

Last Friday night, I had a drunken heckler. (And yes, there are sober hecklers, sometimes.) I slammed the guy a few times, but he kept jumping in during the middle of a joke, wrecking the timing of the material. I finally got so pissed off that I went off, savaging him to the point that the audience was cheering me to go for the jugular. One thing you learn early on is if you are a funny comedian, the audience will behave like they are at a Roman Coliseum, wanting you to go for the kill. Considering that they have paid a cover to watch the professionals, the tolerance for some a-hole who believes he is “helping the show” is very limited.

After unloading a couple bombs on my heckler, I hoped that this would be the end of it and I could back to the regularly scheduled portion of the show. Feeling wounded, my heckler offered up the excuse that “I’m going to Afghanistan next week.”

This was a pretty crafty response, as almost every comic I know would back off and instead act like the guy was some kind of hero. I’m not that guy. I have what can be a fatal flaw and that is that I don't pacify people I should often ignore. Since I’m not like the Comedians of Comedy, who go around performing only for audiences who generally agree with their political points of view, conflict does happen sometimes at my show. I’m a touring standup who goes basically where I can get work and who will pay me a decent wage. I’m not a great comic, but I do feel some pride in not just preaching to the converted. Here is what I offered my heckler.


“So you are telling me you are going to Afghanistan. Normally I am very strong in my support for our troops. I am not a flag-waving robot, though. Just like in any profession there are good people and bad people. I know a load of comics who are egotistical dickheads. I would sometimes put myself in that category. I’m guessing you are the type of soldier who would have been setting up pyramids at Abu Ghraib prison. Now, I don’t want anything fatal to happen to you, but if you lost a limb, I can’t say I would be that broken up about it.”


Youch…that is some cruel stuff to say to someone, let alone someone who is serving our country. I’m not sure it is completely defensible, but I will offer that this jerk would not stopping interrupting the show. I gave him a couple mulligans, but he wouldn’t stop. After I offered up the quote from above, I was a bit concerned how the audience would respond. They were very supportive, laughing and hooting. Now, just for a little bit more info, I wasn’t performing at a rally. The audience was just a bunch of middle-class Americans from a small city (less than 40,000) in northern Wisconsin. I’m guessing the city votes overwhelmingly Republican. After the show, I had a man who looked like he stepped off the cover of some “Greatest Generation” book come up to me and offer this point of view. “I fought in the Korean War and I can tell you that guy who was heckling you was an embarrassment for me. If that is the kind of soldier we have fighting for our country, I don’t think we will ever solve our problems overseas.”

Now, I want to mention that I don’t think for a minute that my heckler that night was a good example of what our troops are like. I’ve done comedy shows at military bases and have had nothing but good experiences, as these soldiers are not the Sean Hannity-lovin’ robots many Liberals think they are. While they might not be as diverse politically, as the general public, they are often more aware than anyone how larger policies have put them in a state of constant FUBAR.

I decided to relay this story, as I know 4 years ago, my words would have caused a different outcome from the audience at this venue. I think it is good that many Americans have stopped blindly leading with their patriotic hearts. We should support the troops, but not pretend that they are all outstanding human beings anymore than we should do the same with politicians. While your job might give you a little bit of extra credit, it shouldn't be a teflon for all of your actions.

After my final slam of my dim-witted heckler, I didn’t hear anything more out of him. At the end of the show, I mentioned that I might have been hasty in my words when I had said that (him) losing a limb wouldn’t tear me apart. I wished him the best of luck and the safest of travels. Not exactly a “We are the World” type moment, but I’m all about giving people a chance to redeem themselves. Well, except for this guy.



2007-11-23 23:07:11
1.   trainwreck
It is a well known fact that hecklers are douches. The best heckler moment I saw was when I was watching Tony Camin perform and this jackass started heckling and then decided to lengthen it out when Tony acknowledged him. Now it was at a small comedy club so we could all see and hear each other no problem. Eventually Tony got so irritated he said the guy's wife was a tranny and that shut the guy up and everyone in the crowd went silent. Well everyone except me who was laughing my ass off.

Have some courtesy and shut up. No one came to hear or see you perform.

2007-11-24 07:44:39
2.   MC Safety
I have a video on my phone of a drunk heckler at a Sarah Silverman and Dave Attell show. It was sad, the guy was a totally burned out drunk trust fund surfer baby from Malibu, who actually thought he was doing the crowd some justice. Sarah and Dave were pretty quick at the hip, but eventually Attell had him booted he was so relentless. They dont mess around at the Hollywood Improv.
2007-11-24 08:11:04
3.   Scott Long
As a general rule, comedy clubs don't allow a heckler much rope before they boot them.
It is the comedy one-nighter where you see a more anything goes atmosphere. I've played almost every IMPROV in the country and have never had one heckler there that I can remember.
2007-11-24 08:49:02
4.   MC Safety
It was one of the Wednesday night Comedy Juice shows for like 7 bucks so maybe they were giving a little more leeway. I've actually found those shows much better than the 40 dollar weekend shows. Its hard to top Nick Swardson for 7 bucks. Although Galifinakis was worth every penny.
2007-11-24 11:53:25
5.   Suffering Bruin
Whenever my students say, "Mr. Landon, you are very funny! You should try stand-up comedy!", I often go to the place of fantasy where I am on stage, the crowd is gasping for breath and having the time of their lives because the new guy, a former teacher, is putting forth a brand of humor yet unseen. In short, I am a rising star. In fantasy land...

What's my point? I could NEVER survive what Scott went through in 3 ring circus. Well, I might survive, but I would not thrive... which Scott was somehow able to do. Hecklers? A raucous crowd? Scott dealt with them all and a whole helluva lot better than I could ever dream of doing. Lest one think this is a shameless plug, consider that Scott is currently on my, ah, "excrement" list for the picture at the end of his post, the most horrific looking thing I've ever seen. Jimmy Walker is dating a man-woman? Another idol falls...

2007-11-24 21:16:27
6.   Suffering Bruin
One more thing about 3-Ring: there's the comedy crowd that shows up at the kinds of clubs you see on Comedy Central, where impoliteness is a courtesy laugh at jokes instead of actual guffawing (and if laughs aren't heard, they can be dubbed in anyway by the CC gang) and there's the crowd that Scott faced. I'm not saying they were bad but it was a more realistic test for a comedian...
2007-11-24 21:36:38
7.   Scott Long
The review for my CD is right-on. It was far from my best performance, but I had to go with it, as I had a friend of mine come out and tape the show that night, so it was do or die. This also explains why I get so pissed at one point of the show that I drop the mic and go into the audience after the heckler, as I knew he was wrecking the taping.

As you said, what you see on Comedy Central is really antiseptic, as they are strongly choreographed and a laugh track is added, if needed. I wanted this DVD to reflect the wild atmosphere that can occur and what you will never see on Comedy Central.

2007-11-26 10:59:37
8.   George Y
I sure hoe when you say, "I'm all about giving people a chance to redeem themselves. Well, except for this guy" that you mean Ann Coulter.
2007-11-26 11:00:21
9.   George Y
That should be "hope" not "hoe," but I guess there are no innocent typos.
2007-11-26 18:17:37
10.   Scott Long
It was written for you to put your own answer to. Can't say you are off on your selection, though.

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