Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
scott@scottlongonline.com
Following up my latest Please Explain piece, here are the 20 that I think should be in your candy bar aisle. They are in no particular order because sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
Added notes: Anything made by the NECCO company is most likely going to be really bad. See Clark bars and NECCO wafers, for best proof.
Whatchamacallit and Zero bars should be pulled off the shelves by Hershey.
Hard to find now, but the Zagnut bar was a staple on the shelves up until the 90's. When Eddie Murphy is bitching about being hungry in 48 Hours and Nick Nolte gets him a Zagnut bar from the vending machine, there is no better way of demonstrating your disgust with a person. A Zagnut for dinner is something that should be a torture technique used at Gitmo, if waterboarding doesn't work.
The Marathon bar (see comments about Curly Wurly), is the candy bar that should still be on the shelves that is not in production in America, today. The only other candy bar that I liked that doesn't exist anymore was the Milkshake. It wasn't usually that fresh, since it was not a big seller, but the malted flavoring made it worth getting, occasionally.
The Cadbury Mini egg should be made year round, because it is the best little piece of chocolate which is made on a mass scale. It blows away the Hershey's kiss.
I started eating 3 Musketeers bars when my orthodontist told me those ones were ok with braces.
Sounds right Joe3. I think I watched the same episode of Unwrapped.
I gotta have Reese's Pieces on that list if you're including bite-size candies. Note: Reese's Pieces are best if you hold the bag in your hand for a while to warm/soften them up a bit. I think Sugar Babies would be the easiest thing to eliminate to make room for them, though since I don't like coconut or fruit and chocolate together I could pass on the Raisinets, Mounds, and Almond Joy as well.
I don't like chocolate and soda together, but since the Payday doesn't have chocolate, it works.
Cliff, why don't you grab a box and a soda, because I'm curious about the what the Yankees future looks like.
Reese's Pieces are just okay. Actually, the M&M peanut butter are better.
Maybe Rolo covers it, but the nature of the Rolo is that you hammer through them in 45 seconds, but the Riesen is satisfying for maybe ten minutes.
Has anybody mentioned the Zero bar? Disgusting confectionery. I remember eating the apple and the boxes of raisins in the Halloween loot before I'd touch that thing. Who buys that? Communists?
for Twix, i dig the peanut butter version. they had discontinued it a coupla times, but it's back now.
speaking of discontinued candy bars... the original Bar None was cool. i don't like caramel or nougat, so when it changed i was done.
BIG ? -- anyone here possibly remember the Summit Bar?!?! i used to love it as a kid, but i was young and it's been gone forever. i can see the wrapper in my minds eye, but can't remember what the hell was in it for the life of me. any help?
http://tinyurl.com/2zqboo
Your right, Rolo is my favorite. Just thought I'd see what the feeling on the ole dud was.
I love the Riesen.
did some research on the Summit bar...
That always cracks me up just thinking about it. Remember those old TV commercials for Skor where they had a bunch of Swedish people speaking Swedish telling you how great this Swedish candy bar "Skor" is?
The funny thing is this: "skor" is the Swedish word for "shoes".
Mmmm...shoes!
In Sweden, "Skor" is called "Dajm", pronounced "Dime", which is why they had to change the name in the US, because obviously, it costs more than 10 cents. But...naming your Swedish candy bar "shoes?"
I discussed the Reggie bar in my last piece. I discussed the Zero bar in this piece.
The Crispy Crunchy Bar by Reese's sounded great, but it is very messy and leaves a burn in your throat aftertaste that makes it a product that should be sold with a glass of milk. Still way better than most of the other Reese's spinoff products.
I kinda like those 'Big Cherry' or the 'Cherry Mash' in my Top 20.
And the 'Oh Henry'! Gotta have that one. Respect!
(BTW, with candy corn widely available right about now, eat a handful of candy corn and the same amount of salted peanuts---presto, change-o...PAYDAY bar!!!)
The GooGoo cluster is a Southern thing and completely awesome.
I, too, long for a Marathon Bar...hmmmmm...
The chocolate covered Payday was a favorite of mine, but it doesn't seem to be in production anymore.
By far the best candy bar in the world is the Coffee Crisp, available in Canada for 30 years or more, but never here in the USA, for some reason. I did find some at Fry's elecronics in Anaheim, CA in September, though.
I've never understood the appeal of 3 musketeers bars. I hate the combination of chocolate & nuget by themselves.
If I want sugar I dive into the Hot Tamales. I love those things. If I want Chocolate and want low end I'll take anything in your top 5 in your order but I've taken a very strong liking to good dark chocolate these days. We'll see what I can snag from the kids tonight.
Now you have to put up a top 20 candy list (no chocolate allowed) :-)
I was off on the Skor bar. Heath was bought by Hershey and it has really affected the Skor bar's distribution, but they are still made. I think if the name, Skor, is the worst name for a candy bar and it has hurt its chances of competing with Heath. The Payday is a second class citizen in the midwest to the Salted Nut Roll, in store presence and promotion.
Candy corn sucks ass.
Truthfully, I could live with just the top 7 on my list and not miss the others. Well, maybe Rolo and a Payday, but the others I might eat once a year.
I'm old school by nature so for me the original Hershey bar is by far the best tasting chocolate bar for your buck.
I actually really like Whatchamacallits, they have their own unique tangy taste.
One that I haven't seen mentioned is Nutrageous which might actually be my favorite candy bar out there. It's got nuts - but not too many - and it's got the peanut butter filling that makes Reese's so good.
Variety is the spice of life.
I love most of the top 20, but I'd grow pretty tired of any one of them if I had them every day. I love Goose Island IPA...love, love, love it, but I don't drink it every day---even though I drink a beer or three every day. I'd get bored with the IPA if I drank it too much.
I think Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti is a superior album to much of what I listen to on a daily basis, but even though it's better it would still get old if I only listened to it and nineteen other favorites to the exclusion of all other, lesser, albums.
I hope this makes sense, I need to feed the baby now...
Is it just me?
Here's the deal with variety. There are 20 different versions of variety listed. My difficulty is with eating an inferior product, (5th Avenue) when there is a superior version of it, (butterfinger), already out there. It just doesn't seem to make much sense to me. Thus, the Please Explain.
There are times when Physical Graffiti is the best record in the world to me, as well. No Please Explain needed on that one.
Why over 21 though? I am, but what does that have to do with it? Am I supposed to eat candy bars while sipping a Chardonnay or something?
Also, where's the York peppermint pattie? Or was Junior Mints the token mint item?
In fact, kids' candy tastes have come much more in line with my own since I was a child. My Paydays vanished almost immediately. As a kid, I loved Payday (still do), and loathed Butterfinger (still do) -- but apparently this was ass-backwards to how everybody else felt. This shook out okay because I could usually trade a Butterfinger for two Paydays, but I always thought it was weird. Now, everybody loves the Payday, and nobody wants the Butterfinger.
Reason #114 of my 500 reasons why I do not want to live in the Midwest: Paydays are hard to find. (Had not known this before.) Without the Payday, I'm pretty much not interested in candy.
A few reasons to live in the Midwest:
62. No Wildfires.
119. Zero Earthquakes (of substance anyway).
201. Very nearly zero Yankee fans.
276. Reasonably priced housing---outside of Chicago-area anyway.
333. I've never met a 'life coach'.
388. PayDays as far as the eye can see---Sam's Club sells 'em for $10 a box (of 36).
I've got more...
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