Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
scott@scottlongonline.com
There are a few subjects I’m very knowledgeable about and I believe I’ve covered each and every one of them a few times, except for one, PORN. I’ve been involved with all the different metamorphosis of adult films. When I turned 18, I visited the local XXX theatre I had dreamed of going in. Sure it had sticky floors and a lot of men staring intently forward like they were at a urinal, but there was a strange camaraderie with my raincoat degenerates, as we were there to feed our most base desires. A theatre like this might have been Paul Reubens undoing, but to me, Pee Wee never seemed more of a real human being until he got busted in Florida.
Theatres and peep show booths were the only place to watch PORN, until the early 80’s when VCR’s changed the industry. It was revolutionary for PORN, as the accessibility of being able to watch hardcore acts at home completely changed its business model. It did affect the artistic notions (yes, there were some then) that had existed in XXX-rated movies during the 70’s, as Betamax tapes at home didn’t need to be shot on film. Up until this point, the performers in PORN actually needed to have a semblance of acting skills, but when shooting on video it was done on g-string budget. This change brought more beautiful dimwits into the industry, but acting skills…not so much.
In the current marketplace, the internet is how most of the PORN is now consumed. This has led to incredible specialization, as the World Wide Web is never more aptly named than when you can put into your favorite search engine Nazi Leather Trannies and find plenty of examples to fill your needs. This extreme segmentation of the industry has created an even bigger slide in the quality of the product. Sure Gonzo PORN film was a very exciting development in the nineties, but the depraved edge that Evil Angel brought to the genre has with few exceptions, become played out by now.
Now comes the time where I unveil the Juice Blog’s initial Hall of Fame of Porn inductees. While some are more famous than these inductees, these 10 have been the best the PORN industry has produced, as they were/are able to raise the viewers focus through their ability to portray lust and sensuality to a high degree. If you think it is easy to perform in the adult industry, then why is it that there is so much crap on the shelves and online? These 10 are not considered by most as true artists, but the Juice Blog thinks they have positively impacted more lives than what Michelangelo or Mozart have done for Americans under 40.
Juice Blog PORN Hall of Fame Inductees
Marilyn Chambers- While Linda Lovelace was the first breakout name in the porn business; Chamber is still the biggest Icon in the history of adult films. During the swinging 70’s, Chambers was on the cover of Ivory Soap box and still thought “why not appear in Behind the Green Door” at the same time. Chambers was the first pretty actress who seemed deeply enthusiastic to be filled in all 3 inputs. For those of you that only know her for her terrible Skinemax soft-porn movies, I recommend checking her out in Insatiable or her Private Fantasies series, as you will then see Marilyn in her prime.
John Leslie- The best actor in PORN history, Leslie had the charisma of a Pacino, with the laid-back confidence of a Joe Willie Namath during his prime. His acting work in the Talk Dirty to Me series brought a raw sexuality that is generally missing from the genre. Leslie later moved into directing and made the best films of the early 90’s. His peak films that he directed are the classics Chameleon and Curse of the Cat Woman.
Ginger Lynn- No actress in the history of PORN has mixed girl next door beauty, with a nymphomaniac passion like Lynn. She was the first of the young actresses in the business that you wondered “why is she in these movies”…that is until you saw her swallow a kielbasa in one serving. Lynn had success appearing in a lot of B-movies, after she retired from PORN and was a tabloid target when she dated Charlie Sheen during the early 90’s. She currently co-hosts with PORN legend Christy Canyon, the best show on the Playboy Radio channel which appears on Sirius satellite radio.
Nina Hartley- In a business where actors last a long time, but actresses are chewed up and spit out like the money shot that is deposited in their mouth, Hartley is coming up on her 25th year of performing in the adult sex field. Considered the “Thinking Woman’s Porn Star”, Hartley has always taken the position that you can be a feminist with your legs above your head. She has been a great mouthpiece for adult films, during her illustrious career, appearing on many different talk shows to defend the industry. Plus, she possesses quite possibly the finest ass in the history of XXX movie making.
Jerry Butler- While his career was shorter (as was his package) than most actors in the business, Butler was as good of a performer as anyone has been in the biz. His timing was good, as Butler began his career at the artistic pinnacle of PORN (1981). An actor who had some minor success mainstream acting, according to his book Raw Talent, he felt pressured to sleep with men to get these jobs, which pushed him away from the Soap Opera world. Raw Talent is the best insider book on the Adult Film business.
Randy Spears- Spears is the exception to the rule of PORN actors, as he began when video was at its peak. (1987) Like Butler, Spears started off trying to be a “legitimate” actor, but according to his website, “he struggled to find work during the strike
and ended up posing for modeling shoots” in the PORN magazine market. Spears has all the qualities to be a fine dramatic actor, but when you have plunged into the world of PORN, you are off the radar for most Hollywood casting agents.
Janine Lindemulder- No woman has ever been more beautiful in PORN than Janine was in her debut film, Andrew Blake’s Hidden Obsessions. While I almost kept her off the list, as she has only done girl-girl scenes, Janine classic beauty and acting chops always have made her scenes noteworthy. Lindemulder was married to Headbangers Ball Riki Rachtman and appeared in a bootleg sex tape with Vince Neil, so with this type of taste in men, I can see why she has stuck to women on film.
Rocco Siffredi- Physically appearing like an Italian Matthew McConaughey, Siffredi is the best male sex performer of all-time. I can’t remember for sure what comedian said it, (I think Jay Mohr), but the line goes “you know you’ve watched too much porn when you can recognize the actor by his balls.” Call it homoerotic if you want, but men who watch porn do a bit of hero-worship when they watch a male performer in the scene. When Siffredi came onto the scene, he was like some kind of PORN version of a Greek God, which only maybe Peter North has been able to match. What sets Siffredi apart is how he is able to make jaded PORN actresses become passionate when pressing the flesh against him.
The Dark Brothers- As I mentioned before, the artistic element in PORN plummeted with the advent of videotape; the Dark Brothers were the sole auteur of the second half of the eighties. From what I know, Gregory Dark was really the talent of the operations, as I don’t even know who the other brother was. Bringing an MTV-style production, using kinetic cuts and eclectic set design, the Dark Brother films managed to be strange, funny, and yet were some of the hottest films in the history of PORN. New Wave Hookers, The Devil in Miss Jones 3 & 4, and The Creasemaster are great places to begin to understand the talents of Dark. Gregory Dark has directed some of the best late-night soft porn films and also has been at the helm of music videos for Britney Spears, Mandy Moore, Linkin Park, Sublime, Snoop Dog, and Outkast. His absence from the PORN business since 1993 has left a gaping hole as big as something in a Max Hardcore film.
John Stagliano- Known as Buttman by many, Stagliano created the Gonzo filmmaking style which has influenced PORN and even mainstream genres. While this style ended up being overdone, it originally gave much needed life in PORN, as its style had a reality-based feel which made the sex look much nastier. Stagliano’s voyeuristic camera style is now the norm in PORN, which makes many older adult films seem limp in comparison. Stagliano’s Evil Angel Production Company has been a mark of quality in the business, much like Rick Rubin’s American label was for music.
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My inductees show an obvious bias against actors who have started over the past 15 years, but no one makes the Top 20 who began in the nineties. (Yes, that includes Jenna Jameson, who often has all the sensuality of a real doll.) I highly recommend if you want to learn more about the movies currently released to check out Rog Reviews. Rog is the best reviewer of PORN around.
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I guess it has to do with my site being called the Juice. Do I hear corporate sponsorship?
(BTW, you are the best at the NSFW warning of any place I've ever seen. Thanks for that.)
I am a bit surprised that Ron Jeremy wasn't mentioned. Siffredi may have been physically appealing, but "The Hedgehog" looked more like a regular person.
Nina Hartley was nice, but for some reason, I always preferred Kay Parker.
ron jeremy = regular person? define regular.
I have to agree with Snydes comment on Ron Jeremy. Outside of maybe his first couple of years when he wasn't fat, Jeremy has always been an oddity to me in the biz. Sure we all know why he was chosen in the first place, but aren't their enough other guys swinging a louisville slugger that he could have been sent off to stud farm years ago?
Kay Parker would strongly be considered for the next inductee group, but she had a pretty short career and Hartley has been in the biz for longer than any female, plus she has been such a great spokesperson for PORN.
Thanks for the commentary. It is a bit lighter than I expected it would be on this subject.
i'm gonna leave a funny porn story and maybe others will share:
about 10 years ago, my buddy and i were out partying in boston one night. we both lived in western mass so we crashed at my brother's place; he was out of town. we get to the house and my buddy finds some porn and pops it in the VCR. i can hear it in the other room while i'm whipping up some eggs in the kitchen. it's the beginning, with stupid dialogue and whatnot. then the moans start. then nothing. the sounds is off and my buddy starts jabbering like one of those guys at an auction (i guess that would be an auctioneer?). he's going a mile a minute, just saying the craziest stuff: "can i get 15, 15, 15 for the clitoris, now 25, 25 for a little tongue, 35, 35, 35 gotta make her cum..." i walk into the living room and he's still yapping away. i look at the tv and there's close-up of a guy going down on this chick. his tongue working as fast as the words flying out of my buddies's mouth. very funny stuff. try it some time.
I've watched a lot of porn but never did I get so much history about the industry till reading this. Here I was thinking that the only thing that mattered was looking into "finishing" in between commercial breaks of a Yankee game, but there is actually something to learn when I'm entertaining my immoral thoughts.
This post is the "money shot".
8 I can't disagree on porn scripting, but many of them are variations of the same theme. Off the top of my head, in terms of plotting, the only series that really caught my attention was Kirdy Stevens' "Taboo" series
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