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Things I Don't Understand
2003-10-08 21:27
by Will Carroll

* Why Mike Mussina bends so far down in the stretch.

* How you see the ball coming when you're on Waveland. Just listen for the cheer?

* Why people still reach for balls. Didn't Jeffrey Maier end this? Why isn't there an announcement at the start of a game - reach over the rail and you're gone.

* How anyone thinks Derek Jeter is a good defensive shortstop. Making unbelievable plays like the Giambi Flip doesn't make him good, just smart.

* Why Mark Prior is batting in the fifth. Oh yeah, Dusty Baker's managing.

* And he's BUNTING? Oh screw me twice and hit the snooze.

* Why does Fox show crap like "His nickname is Sea Bass" rather than something useful. I'm sure we could license VORP over to Fox pretty easily and Woolner will even go to Fenway to explain it.

* How I get better download speeds on my iBook with Wi-Fi than I do on my Compaq.

* Where the hell Steve Lyons gets most of his ideas. Or how he has a job.

* Why someone doesn't explain that Pudge Rodriguez (and Johnny Bench before him) actually hurt catching by being so good. So very few catchers can make the backhanded stabs they make, but every kid in the world thinks they can. We end up with bad footwork and passed balls out the wazoo in high school.

* Will they sell more beer in and around Wrigley Field than they do for the Indy 500? I think it's close.

* The Cure in a commercial? Tell me that when I was in high school and the kids with pink hair would have laughed at you. No, I didn't have pink hair. Purple one time, but that's a long story.

* Hottest TV Chick? I dunno. Eliza Dushku's show hasn't started yet, does that count?

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