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Personally On the Juice
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New Fantasy League, NCAA Tourney Thoughts, SNL etc.
2007-03-25 18:58
by Scott Long

Responding to the demand of the first league, I have opened up a second league.  This one is through ESPN, as well.  The draft for this league will take place next Sunday night at 9:45.  Same statistical categories, except to try something new, the league will use quality starts, not wins.  While quality starts is a somewhat dubious stat, don't see where it's any more so than wins. 

If you want to get into this league, send an email to me at

Please list your name and where you are from, as I'm trying to get a better feel for who my readers are.  Thanks.


I want to be the first to (self) congratulate all of you that picked the Final 4 teams correctly.  While my early picks were pretty dismal, I at least had the last 4 right.  Here is a little blurb from my NCAA tourney preview.


Not a lot of surprises, with 2 one seeds and 2 two seeds here. The Ohio State/Georgetown game should be a war. I like the Buckeyes 3-point shooting as being the difference. Florida just has too much talent down low, as I don't know how the Bruins can cover both Noah and Horford.

What a great game Ohio State versus Florida would be. Championship experience of the Gators going up against the college's best true center since Patrick Ewing. Oden will provide enough defensive intimidation to slow down Noah and Horford, with the very underrated shooting of the Buckeyes pushing them ahead in the end.

 I will stick with these picks, though Ohio State has no right to have even made it this far, as they should have lost to Xavier (and probably Tennessee, as well.)  Both teams the Buckeyes would face, if they win it all, have 2 NBA quality big men.  It will be interesting to how well Oden fares, when actually playing players his size, instead of the smaller players he has faced so far.  It's been a long time since I've been as stoked about a Final 4, as this one.  I bet the ratings are going to be great, with every region of the country being represented.  Now if only CBS would have Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas announce the games, instead of Nance and Packer...


As someone who has seen every SNL hosted by an athlete, let me say that I put Peyton Manning into the top 3 of all-time.  Just like in his commercials, Manning has great timing and gets the joke.  While his United Way parody ad is getting all the play, he was good in every sketch he was in, despite some second-rate material.  One of the hardest acting skills is physical comedy and the locker room sketch was hilarious.  Will Forte was absolutely hysterical with his silly dancing and then Manning stepped up and matched him. 

If you are interested in who the other 2 athlete-SNL hosts I would rate on Manning's level they are Chris Evert and O.J. Simpson.  Evert and Al Gore are the 2 biggest positive surprises hosting the show.  Both are known for being a bit robotic in their personal life, but they were great sports in poking fun at themselves.  Evert's sketch being stalked by Martina is a classic.  Don't think that I have included O.J. just because of the name of this blog.  The Juice was really good, as I remember a sketch where he had a voodoo doll dressed like Walter Payton in his freezer, sticking needles in it in the hopes that he wouldn't break his all-time record.  (no Knives were used in this sketch) I also really liked the Mandingo parody where O.J. ends up making out with Garrett Morris, which was the greatest moment of Morris' career, outside of "baseball been berry, berry good to Chico."

Scott's Top 6 Athlete's Who Have Hosted SNL

  1. O.J. Simpson
  2. Peyton Manning
  3. Chris Evert
  4. Fran Tarkenton
  5. Andy Roddick
  6. Michael Jordan

NOTE TO SNL: If you want to have a really funny show, without having to write any new sketches, hire Rex Grossman as the host and just show clips from his past season


Sometime I need to get around to asking Will Carroll how many hours he would estimate he has spent on the subject of Kerry Wood and Mark Prior?  These guys have become the Paris Hilton of baseball, as at some point you hear the latest on them and think, whatever.

2007-03-25 20:20:03
1.   Suffering Bruin
Top performances by athletes on SNL would have to include OJ Simpson, don't you think? He was pretty good, IIRC.

Enberg and Bilas would be terrific. So would Nance and Bilas. Anyone, and I mean anyone, other than the insufferable Billy Packer would be better. He would be a good subject for a "please explain." He's never been a head coach, right? To my knowledge, no one has ever tried to hire him. He was genuinely good when teamed with Enberg and Al McGuire but then, IIRC, CBS spent half the money on the planet for sports, lured Packer away from NBC while McGuire stayed and the rest is history. To my mind, Packer lucked into being where he is now. That said, I cannot explain why anyone would find him appealing. As a former sportscaster, I'm well aware that the list of the people who find him to be an absolute jerk is long which should surprise no one.

2007-03-25 20:24:07
2.   Scott Long
I left that subject out. I have just (weekend) updated the piece. Yes, O.J. was one of my 2.
2007-03-25 21:42:28
3.   Philip Michaels
I realize he was redwood-like, but Joe Montana needs to crack the list for that punchline in the sketch where he plays Phil Hartman's roommate.
2007-03-25 22:11:55
4.   Scott Long
Can't do it, Phillip. Yeah, the line was great, but when your greatest acting talent is being able to follow the cue cards, I can't put you on the list.
Take this as some consolation. Barry Zito's performance on Showtime's "The Chris Issak Show" was really good.

I'm sure some Bronx Banter-ites are going to be asking what about Jeter?

2007-03-25 22:14:11
5.   das411
No love for Mark Wohlers Scott? and Todd Hundley and Gregg Jefferies and everybody else that made it into that one sketch and was then immediately forgotten?
2007-03-25 22:17:35
6.   Scott Long
My SNL Baseball PECOTA system gives it a just above replacement level sketch rating. Sorry.
2007-03-26 06:18:22
7.   mehmattski
4 What about Jeter?

Seriously though I don't remember any of the sketches, just the Weekend Update where he makes... Jimmy Fallon? cry when he says that Nomah sucks. You gotta admit that was pretty funny.

2007-03-26 07:18:13
8.   Mike J
I thought Tom Brady was pretty solid as host. Probably one slot behind Jordan, if you ask me. (which you didn't)

The Sexual Harrassment in the Workplace skit was the best.

2007-03-26 09:38:54
9.   Scott Long
I would put Barkley and then Brady 7 and 8.

I'm not a Jeter or Fallon fan. I do have respect for Jeter's talent, though. Notice I don't mention the other guy.

2007-03-27 21:27:29
10.   Suffering Bruin
I don't know if the subject is closed but... Bill Russell? I can't quite place the show other than the "Black Shadow" sketch.
2007-03-28 08:40:10
11.   Scott Long
I will admit that I forgot about Russell. That is one of my favorite sketches, as well. He would have to go somewhere on that list of best hosts. Another host who really surprised me in how good he was. I remember he was also good in a Miami Vice episode.

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