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The Ultimate Stripper Pole Soundrack
2006-06-05 10:33
by Scott Long
Notes:
Scott Long is now blogging at NSFWsports.com.
Will Carroll can still be found at Baseball Prospectus.

Music lists are fun to compile, but generally offer little when it comes to groundbreaking information. Well, I've had this idea for awhile of listing the best songs to watch an exotic dancer (reality: stripper).

What made me think about compiling such a list was 15 years back, I was at a club where the feature dancer, Sandra Scream (NSFW), danced to "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails. Where you might not think this would be a great song to take off your garments, Ms. Scream's performance was beautifully choreographed, creating the best interpretation of a NIN song, outside of Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt." Ms. Scream, who appeared in such classics such as Boobs, Butts, and Blunders 2, New Wave Hookers 2 (a classic), and Screamin' Reamers 12, 16, and 26, was never better than on-stage that night at this gentlemen's club (reality: pervert's palace).

While I have been to only one strip club in the past 10 years, I frequented them enough when I was a younger man that I think I can make a credible list. Yes, Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls"* is the national anthem for strippers, but I need more muscial originality to be truly entranced by a dancer. The songs I've listed have more dramatic tension in their makeup.

Scott's Stripper Pole Soundtrack

  1. "Gett Off" by Prince: It's hard to go wrong with almost any Prince song on this list, but this is the tune that even the devil would put on to get his groove on with his sinner of choice. Is there any line that says it more perfectly than 23 Positions in a One-Night Stand.

     

     

  2. "Justify My Love" by Madonna: This song is pure sex. The only negative was that the video was such a soft-porn classic that it makes it hard to not visualize it while watching someone else dance. Still, it is a classic song for naked gyration.

The rest of the list is in no particular order.

  • "Bummer" by Monster Magnet: Highly underrated hard rock group, who fit somewhere between Danzig and Marilyn Manson. I choose this one off of their classic Powertrip release, as it has a driving beat and lyrics that are biographical for many dancers. My favorite line is, "If you wanna spank your demons and make 'em pay, then baby I'm your man of the hour." That outdoes anything Spinal Tap ever penned.

     

     

  • "I Feel You" by Depeche Mode: While the lyrics are fairly sappy, Depeche Mode were never more sexual in their sound. A haunting, throbbing beat, with Dave Gahan actually singing like a British poofter.

     

     

  • "Avalon" by Bryan Ferry: What better to close out a set than the slinky sounds of Bryan Ferry? I can just picture some SuicideGirl (NSFW) writhing on the stage to this tune, filled with lust in her mind. (Who cares if she's thinking of another woman, it's still worth tucking a few bucks.)

These are just a few that I thought of. This is a post hoping for interaction, so please offer up your best choices.

 

--

* I was once at Brad's Gold Club (West side of Indianapolis) after work, with some fellow waiters from Chi Chi's (the restaurant, not the Mexican slang term). This was during May, when the time trials at the Indy 500 were still a huge deal. While nursing a $5 warm beer, who walks in but the unlikely buddy duo of Al Unser, Sr. and the Crue's Vince Neil. When the "entertainers" saw him, they responded like Neil was their own personal Pope. I have still never seen such idol worship as I witnessed that night by the ladies for the peroxide-haired, helium-voiced lead singer.

Comments
2006-06-05 09:47:51
1.   dianagramr
Admit it Scott .... after "Risky Business" came out, you slid across your floor in your socks and BVDs and danced your ass off.

Right? :-)

2006-06-05 11:54:02
2.   Kayaker7
"Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton.
2006-06-05 12:35:15
3.   Scott Long
I never did reenact the risky business scene and if I did, it would have been in fruit of the looms. (For those wanting to know, I've moved up to boxer briefs.)

Now I might have pretended I was Ricky the Rocket from the classic "A Night in Heaven." Me, with my curly blonde hair at the time, playing the part Christopher Atkins did of seducing Lesley Ann Warren. I'm not saying this happened, but hypothetically it could have occurred.

2006-06-05 15:08:42
4.   Voxter
I don't much care for strip clubs, but if we're talking about songs that are "pure sex", I think Daft Punk's "Something about Us" has to be on the list somewhere.
2006-06-05 18:39:17
5.   Rob Cook
A couple songs I've heard a few times in strip clubs:

You Shook Me All Night Long- AC/DC
Goody Two-Shoes- Adam Ant

2006-06-06 10:46:09
6.   Smed
"Do You Wanna Hit It?" by the Donnas!
2006-06-06 16:52:22
7.   Gold Star for Robot Boy
At Big Earl's Gold Mine in Des Moines, Iowa, I once heard Alice in Chains' "Rooster."
Vietnam =! Sexy
2006-06-06 19:01:40
8.   Scott Long
Ironically, 75% of the clubs I've been in was when I lived in Des Moines. I don't think Big Earl's existed then. I can see Rooster being a good choice.

I love the Donna's!

I like Rob's choices, especially the Adam Ant tune.

Daft Punk, who is my favorite techno band of all-time, would be a good choice.

Even though Prince wrote Sugar Walls, Sheena Easton singing would only work if shw was taking her clothes off while she was doing. Of course, Sugar Walls would be a lot better than "My baby takes the morning train."

2006-06-07 10:16:59
9.   Tom
I read an interview where this dancer said she really liked "Can I Get a. . ." by Jay-Z.

While this is an interesting topic of conversation, I think the worst Stripper Pole songs is far more interesting. My pick: Lou Reed, Perfect Day.

(Also, a favorite topic of mine is worst wedding songs. Current leader: Atlantic City, Bruce Springsteen).

2006-06-07 14:00:16
10.   jenny
If using Nail Inch Nails, their cover of Get Down Make Love.
80's style~Berlin, Sex (I'm A).
Industrial~Revolting Cocks, (Let's Get)Physical, also a cover.
Punkish~The Cramps, any song.
Goth~Skinny Puppy, Dig It.
90210~Powerman 5000, Strike A Match. The song that
Donna got down to. (I know I am a dork!)
That's just a few, I could go on for days!
2006-06-07 18:40:33
11.   Underbruin
I'd vote Daft Punk as well, but a different song - "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."

... Need I say more?

2006-06-08 13:50:15
12.   Mark T.R. Donohue
When I strip in public, my song of choice is "Can't Deny It," by Fabolous and Nate Dogg. That big, fat, loose syn-bass...it sounds unclean. Which is also an argument for pretty much Prince's entire '80s catalog, excepting Around the World in a Day and the songs about God.
2006-06-08 14:33:17
13.   Scott Long
Mark- This is the kind of self-disclosure that we all need to share. Thank You. I do think Rasberry Beret could be successfully stripped to, though Pop Life wouldn't work.
2006-06-08 14:34:07
14.   Scott Long
Mark- This is the kind of self-disclosure that we all need to share. Thank You. I do think Rasberry Beret could be successfully stripped to, though Pop Life wouldn't work.
2006-06-08 14:34:15
15.   Scott Long
Mark- This is the kind of self-disclosure that we all need to share. Thank You. I do think Rasberry Beret could be successfully stripped to, though Pop Life wouldn't work.

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