Sure Jose Contreas has pitched now for the last year like the guy the Yankees thought they were signing, but the Cuban that would make the biggest difference in baseball is Mark. Yeah, Mark Cuban. For some time now, Cuban has said he would be interested in buying the Pirates, which we all know is the tonic that Pittsburgh needs for its team. He recently shared with the Chicago Tribune that he would have interest in buying the Cubs, as well.

Many don't like the brash Cuban, but he is the kind of aggressive owner that believes in spending money to make money. He demands the best from his employees and provides them with the best tools to do their jobs. Baseball needs an owner who would shake up the old boys network that it has and know one shakes up a league like Mark Cuban. Pittsburgh needs him to change the losing mentality they have had for so long, so if he needs to make a hostile takeover, I hope it happens.

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Sad to hear that Britney Spears looks to be on the road to divorcing Kevin Federline. Those kids seemed to be the perfect pair. You got to give K-Fed some points for his moxie, considering he had no talent, but was able to score a rich, beautiful woman and use her to finance every wish he desired. What Britney needs is a man she can count on. I hear Charlie Sheen's on the market. Just call me Mr. Matchmaker.

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SATIRE WARNING!!!!! So Theo Epstein got on stage and played with Pearl Jam, the other night. Hoping this example would turn his luck around, Allan Baird jammed with Molly Hatchett at a county fair in Joplin. (Nothing like putting up a satire warning to wreck part of the comedy potential.)

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In case you missed it, Dutch pedophiles are starting their own political party. I'm sure you are thinking, "you mean such a popular group didn't already have a fierce political machine, already?" Nope, but Ad ven den Berg, one of the pedophile party founders is ready to take the country by storm. His group is pushing for a cut in the legal age for sexual realtions to 12 from 16 and the legalization of child porn and sex with animals. By the way, this is not a made-up story. While I'm a usually a contrarian on most subjects, the whole idea of pedophilia revolts me. Now, while I'm not a fan of beastility, either, I've never quite understood the uproar about the subject. I mean, if I'm a cow and my choices are to be butchered for the pleasure of diners at Morton's or for some human to make sweet cow love to me, I'm saying a very definite MOOOOOOOOOOO for the latter being my pick. So in conclusion. Pedophilia=Very Bad----Beastility=Not a Fan, but preferable to most cows surveyed versus a visit to the slaughterhouse.