A couple of times a year I go through a short stretch where every thought coming out of my brain is negative. This is one of those weeks. I mean, I've even made some semi-snide comments towards my fellow bloggers at THE JUICE. Considering I think they are both really talented writers, put me on the list of major leagues tools, like Kenny Williams and Frank Thomas.

At the same time, I'm blessed that my main job in life, standup comedy, is one of the few professions where this type of behavior is often rewarded. I'm hoping that my foul mood will continue through the end of this weekend, as I have an audition for Last Comic Standing in Chicago on Sunday.

If you are not familiar with this reality show, Last Comic Standing is a program where 20 comics are chosen from national tryouts and then they compete to be one of the 10 finalists who will live in a house over the summer. It's part American Idol, part Big Brother. I didn't audition for the first season, as I figured the show would make the comics look like idiots. While it has its exploitive moments, overall, Last Comic Standing gave a really positive view of the standup world.

After the first year's success, a lot of great comics who probably felt similarly to me about the initial concept, decided to audition for year two. Knowing this, I decided to hold off, as I didn't like my chances. Actually, I don't like my chances this year, either, but I figure I should give it a try.

Just to give you an idea of what the audition will be like, I will get to stand in a huge line outside of Zanies Comedy Club in Chicago, early Sunday morning. By far, the majority of people trying out will have never even been on a comedy stage, let alone have spent years performing all over the country working on their act. The big difference betweenLast Comic Standing and American Idol is that some novice with a decent voice can karaoke up some old Motown hit and punch their ticket to Hollywood. When doing standup, the amateur is quickly exposed, as you have to come up with your own material.

(By the way, I watched AI last night and the group of chicks on the show is very lame. A couple of the guys are good, but I'm not sure they have they right look. The talent on Rock Star: INXS was much better. Simon completely carries the show.)

One beef I've had about a lot of comics who appear on television is that many are very L.A. or NYC centric, as that's what generally connects with the network talent people who all live in these cities. I realize that this is the way it works, just like if you want to be a major writer you should live in NYC or if you are an Olympic curler you should live in Bemidji, but this system doesn't serve a lot of the country very well. The problem about this is that most comedy club audiences aren't single, late 20something hipsters. Many of the comics who are on Premium Blend and shows like it would fail miserably in the flyover country, as earthquake and subway jokes don't travel really well outside the coasts.

A fair question might be that with an attitude like this, why would I even mess with auditioning for the show? While I'm a moderately successful comic, more exposure would raise my rates and get me into a few clubs that I don't currently headline at. So I will wait my turn to perform between one-to-three minutes of my act for three judges who are completely burned-out after watching so many people who have less talent than Melissa Rivers.

I see my ace in the hole being my snarky behavior in line, which with my actual comedy talent I hope will be seen by the producers as something that could create some dramatic tension. To finely tune my irascibility, I plan on stopping by U.S. Cellular Field on my way to have Sox GM Kenny Williams give me some last minute instructions on the most effective way to irritate the people I deal with. My chances aren't good of being selected, but then Kenny Williams being the top front-office executive in MLB for 2005 seemed less likely.

(Note: I will give a brief summary of my Last Comic Standing experience next week. There is a chance I will forego the audition if the weather sucks, as I'm performing in Kalamazoo Thursday-Saturday and will have to get up early for my drive. This is the biggest negative about auditioning in Chicago versus L.A. or Tempe.

I will be appearing on the Huge Show Thursday afternoon, with guest host Kevin Matthews. This show is syndicated all over Michigan.)