College Dog 6-Pak, Plus a Lowest Common Denominator Joke
by Scott Long
Welcome to this week's edition of Scott's mediocre football selections. I've been too busy to check my overall record, but I'm guessing it's just barely over .500. Last week was a tough one for my picks, as I had an overall winning week, but lost my NFL Game of the Year in overtime. (F-ing Lions offense.) I thought this week I would kickoff the football discussion with a short post by Juice reader "Mr. Buck", which is one of the finest examples of quality Dick joke material you will ever read. Enjoy.
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. -- Casey Dick, a freshman quarterback who's seen no action in Razorback games this year because he's been redshirted, will start for Arkansas against South Carolina on Saturday, coach Houston Nutt said the red shirt is coming off, Nutt said Sunday, because Dick has impressed his coaches with his passing in practices and has shown the skills to move the offense.
Robert Johnson started the first seven games for Arkansas this season. Nutt said he would take the blame for Johnson's struggles as signal-caller as the Razorbacks went 0-4 in the first half of their Southeastern Conference season, 2-5 overall.
"It's not that I'm saying it's Robert Johnson's fault," Nutt said. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Robert Johnson has done some good things for our program and he's still needed."
Nutt said Dick deserves a chance to show if he can spark the Razorback offense.
So, let me summarize. If your gonna whip the Cocks, then Dick is in, and Johnson is out says Nutt. Possible headlines?
Nutt Puts His Dick In, Hoping To Beat Cocks
Dick Outshines Johnson, Gets Nutt Nod vs. Cocks
Stiff Cock Test, Means Limp Johnson Pulled for Better Dick
3 star NC. St. (+13) Florida St.
3 star Tennessee (+9) Notre Dame
3 star Wisconsin (+11) Penn St.
2 star Tulsa (+9) UTEP
2 star Vanderbilt (+19) Florida
2 star Indiana (+13) Minnesota
This is the time of the year I like to go with the dogs, as I think a lot of the favorites get overvalued. No standout game, like last week's 4 star winner on Oklahoma, but more plays are worth taking a look at. Wolfpack Coach Amato has done well against his former boss Bowden, plus this is a game they have to win to salvage a disappointing season. Similar issue for the Vols, as they are in danger of having a losing season. While I doubt either State or Tennessee will win the game outright, the big spreads make them the plays.
Despite their great play this year, I still don't believe the Nittany Lions will win out. Badgers running attack leads to a game going to down to the wire.
UTEP was my surprise Top 25 team at the beginning of the season and if they get past Tulsa, I suspect they will finish 10-1. Miners win, but a TD or less.
Vanderbilt has had their best season in a long time and don't be surprised if they give the Gators a battle. Florida QB Leak is really talented, but not a good fit for Meyer's offense.
Minnesota is a hard team to figure out and I'm not a fan of the Gophers when they play on a grass surface.
3 star Miami (+2.5) Atlanta
3 star New Orleans (+3) Chicago
2 star Oakland (+4.5) Kansas City
2 star Indianapolis (-3) New England
There is a real divergence of thought on Michael Vick. Put me on the side that doesn't think he will ever stay healthy enough to be a great QB. In a low-scoring affair, I like the Fish.
Who knows which Saints team will show up? This week, I see them playing better, while the Bears are flat off of their huge victory over the Lions.
Oakland has Top 10 talent, but their coaching has been shaky. They seem to be on a roll and hard to see the Chiefs defense stopping them, so expect the game to come down to a field goal.
I think the Colts are 10 points better than the Patriots, but considering the Pats voodoo on Manning, I can't make this more than a 2 star choice.