Note: This post has some links to sites which are adult in nature.
I'm sure many of Baseball Toaster's readers have serious porn addictions. I know I would think less of you, if you didn't. Now, for those of you that feel that you need to gain some control of your seedy desires, let me present, XXXChurch.com
X3Church is an organization started by 2 young pastors, focused on bringing awareness to hairy palms. They describe their mission on their website this way.
"Hey a little porn never hurt anybody, right? C'mon dude! Get a clue. A little porn is like a little heroine(sic). It's gonna jack you up one way or the other. I know this may be a surprise to some of you, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. You have got to decide what type of person you are going to be."
Well, from reading this description, I would have to classsify myself as a big cake eater. The church has made it's money from the beginning of time, trying to make people feel badly about their predelictions, so I guess it would only make sense that some "dudes" like Pastor Bill and Ted would tinker with the whole "spare the rod" bibical verse." These haters of slapping the greasy gopher follow in a line of religious zealots like John Harvey Kellogg, who started his cereal company as part of his fanaticism against all things sexual. Here was his following idea about masturbation.
"A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment."
All I can say is a life without burping the worm would leave one with a serious case of grape nuts. Just like anything else, too much time spent on a hobby can be a problem. (you know who you are--- you, who spend 6 hours a day on smother.com, pumping the gas at the self-service island to shapely young lasses face-sitting on willing participants.) If you fit this description, maybe you might need an intervention, which the reverends against the two finger taco tango would be glad to help you with.
With the help of their friend, Pete the Porno Puppet, these men of the (wash) cloth want to help you with your addiction. Personally, I think these two need to come to grips with themselves, literally and figuratively, but maybe they can help you. Remember, I'm just here to serve my readers.