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American Candidate
2008-09-29 13:15
by Will Carroll

"Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest and welcome to ..." [Cue theme] " ... American Candidate!

"After months of tryouts and the grueling cuts of Washington Week, we're down to our final twelve. These Senators, Governors, former cabinet members, Fortune 500 CEO's and one surprise selection -- Bobby O'Sullivan, a cop from The Bronx -- will face our judges, so let's bring them out." [Cue lights, cut to judges.]

"You all know our panel of judges, so I can skip most of the intros. Our first judge is no stranger to the world of politics, having run for President twice. Please welcome ... Rev. Al Sharpton!"

"Yo, Ryan, what up, dawg?"

"To his left, the beautiful and talented ... Laura Bush!"

"Thanks, Ryan. I'm so happy to be here."

"I'm just happy to hear you speak, Laura. Your eyes look a little glassy, do you feel okay?"

"Of course, Ryan. You look great!"

"Yeah, ok. And finally, they call him the Dark Lord of politics, the only man who could fill the chair of Simon Cowell, it's ... Karl Rove."

"Fine, let's get on with it, Ryan, before you try to have a gay marriage with Clay Aiken."

"Ooh, he's tough already. As you know, this contest will help decide the next United States President. Your votes, texts, and web votes will decide who stays ... and who goes. Each week, we'll cover one topic, from the economy to immigration, from social causes to the Second Amendment. We'll have mentors in on each week to help define the debate and this week, we'll open with ..." [cue music and lights] "... Climate Change! To help us, there could be no one better than ... former Vice President Al Gore!"


The sad thing is, this might be a better system.

2008-09-30 05:45:55
1.   jgpyke
There was a TV show that was supposed to find a candidate and put 'em up for election, but I think it ran on Showtime, which means no one watched it. But if we did have a show like you mention, it would be compelling, to say the least. I don't see why it wouldn't work. I have to admit that Ralph Nader is right that no matter who is elected in our current system, the spoils go to the corporations that are vested in their candidacies. The system you propose, WC, might at least produce a candidate who is not a lackey of special interests. Measured populism can be a good thing, FWIW.
2008-09-30 13:33:30
2.   Ken Arneson
I'd love to see this, not to actually pick a "real" President, but to pick a "shadow President" from the ranks of ordinary Americans. It might be a good way to help keep the electorate informed.

I personally would really enjoy going through the "policy boot camp" that Sarah Palin is getting. I have a bit of foreign policy experience myself (I worked as a translator in an embassy for a year) and it was fascinating, but there's so much more to learn.

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