It's Scott Long. Here's the story.

In May my voice started to wear out easily. As more time went by, it got to the point where I struggled to project. I visited an ears, nose, and throat doctor for it. This doctor looked at my throat. (He also looked at my ears and nose, which must be complimentary.) His diagnosis was that I had 2 polyps on my left vocal chord. Surgery was scheduled.

I was told I would have just a scratchy throat after the procedure. Well, the procedure didn't go as well as planned, as I was told afterwards that I have an unusually long neck. This was news to me, as I've never been mistaken for Merton Hanks. (By the way, what other football player rocked a turtleneck like the Mert?)

***I used to see Merton a lot, as his dorm was next to mine when we were both attending the Univesity of Iowa. During my years at the school, Hanks and B.J. Armstrong were the best guys who were on any athletic team at the school that I had any interaction with.

So since it was more difficult to get to my larynx, the medical team had to use extended tools which were more difficult to get into my mouth. Scratchy throat my ass! Afterwards, the inside of my lip and my tongue were completely swollen. plus one of my teeth was chipped. Since I was under the whole time, I have no idea what truly happened. The aftermath made me wonder if my mouth wasn't used in some gang bang starring Dick Rambone.

The first few days afterwards, I was instructed not to talk. Then, I was given a steroid pack, which would aid me in having more vocal strength after the surgery. The steroids did wonders for me, which has been magnified over the past couple of days since the pack ran out. I tried to get another prescription for them, but the nurse told me they were a temporary fix and would hinder my recovery at this point. She told me that many singers use steroids as it gives them more power during their performances. She also mentioned that some singers don't get rid of their polyps, as they are concerned it can affect the sound and tone of their voice. (I bet this dude is on the juice and probably also has a baker's dozen of nodules.)

All I know is that I want my 'roids back. I make my living with my voice, so I can completely tell you that I would use them illegally, if I knew someone who could hook me up. Is it cheating that I could have a vocal advantage over some lesser voiced performer? Quite possibly, but I'm more concerned about moving up in my profession and I would be willing to take that chance. Now what I wouldn't do, even if it helped me get ahead would be to steal someone else's material. I guess we all have our own moral code. As someone who in my profession is a star in Triple A, I wish it was as easy as taking some pills to make the step up the ladder to Major League superstar.

Now what does this post have to do with baseball?