Welcome to my blog. I will only make one promise and that reading my rants will probably change your life. Keep in mind that my words often make people follow me like I am the reincarnation of Jim Jones or David Koresh (without the pesky belief in God thing). Despite this ability to brainwash, I refuse to use my powers to create a L. Ron Hubbard-like movement.

Now, sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

Your leader,

Scott

PS: Please note that I will get back to you when the next Hale Bopp comet hits. To be prepared, immediately castrate yourself, at all times wear your black Nikes and keep your pockets filled with quarters. (Do the last thing, because behind heavens gate is lot a foosball tables and the cell phone service isn't good there, so you have to use the pay phone.)